It hasn't been that long since Jaehaerys I chose Cerys's father as his heir, publicly disgracing Rhaenys and proving that a woman would never be worthy to rule the Seven Kingdoms. No matter what she does, Princess Rhaenys will remain just a princess. Only a couple of weeks after the Great Council, Aemma gave birth again. Again to a girl. But this time, Viserys was not opposed. Rather... happy.
He believed that Rhaenyra, it was this name they decided to give her, was a message, the grace of the gods. The king did not let her out of his hands, the smile did not leave his face, and Cerys could only look. Look and know that he could never love her the same way.
Rhaenyra was not the promised son and yet she got everything, while her older sister was deprived of even crumbs of attention. She watched them from the other side of the room and wondered what she had done to deserve all this. What she had done wrong. Viserys could yell at his firstborn or even hit, and now Cerys did not understand where this cruel man in the guise of her father had gone. Where is the justice? Where is sacrifice? His harshness towards his own daughter was unreasonable, she would have done anything for him, absolutely anything that pleases his soul and yet he did not appreciate this gift.
Cerys was only five years old, but she could confidently say that any other celebration of her birthday was less magnificent than the first day of the life of the second daughter of the King.
Her nails dug into the skin, leaving behind crescent-shaped crescent-red marks on her small palms. The girl was sickened by the mere sight of her father and her sister, who was laughing in his lap. He rocked her, cooed something joyfully to his child while his first-born was standing in the distance and was doomed only to watch someone else's happiness. Her lips tightened, and her heart seemed to be beating somewhere in her throat with incredible speed. She wanted to push her little sister off the pedestal of Viserys's favorite, to enjoy her crying while her arms were wrapped around the newborn baby's neck. Oh, she could have thrown her into the fire, fed Rhaenyra to her dragon, reduced her to ashes, and poured it over her father's head and screamed, "I'm your daughter! I'm right here in front of you! Why don't you want to see me?"
She could be hysterical until they pay attention to her, until they throw at least one disappointed look, which Cerys will accept with gratitude and happiness. She would do anything just to be noticed.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, falling on her red dress and on the marble floor while her head was held high, as if it was not her at all, smashed to smithereens, like an old fragile vase.
"Princess," a voice called out to her, but her eyes remained fixed only on her family. Rhaenys patted her husband's arm, suggesting that he leave them alone. She followed the little girl's gaze and sighed in understanding, squeezing her shoulder. "He'll notice you." she paused. "One day. Let's just hope that it won't be too late."
"It will never be too late." Cerys cut off.
"Time changes everything it wants, princess. And unfortunately us as well. It is impossible to escape from the power of time, it is impossible to outwit it or buy it off with gold. Poor, rich, smart or foolish - nothing matters before this God. He will reshape us like his dolls and eventually take us back the way he left us."
Purple eyes looked at the older woman in front of her. Rhaenys only nodded at all the silent questions of young Targaryen. She will understand what was said to her.
But in time.
The maid took Rhaenyra from Viserys's arms and walked out of the great hall unnoticed by the others, but Cerys was not like the others. Her eyes were always sharp and attentive, like those of a falcon soaring in the sky, gears were always spinning in her head, generating new ideas. She was cunning and didn't let anyone fool her, but that doesn't mean she couldn't fool them.
The doors to the chambers closed as the girl's eyes narrowed around the corner. The maids were more carefree than any baby in the Seven Kingdoms. The silver-haired princess's eyes darted around the corridor, trying to find a way to divert attention, but this was not really necessary. Their cook knocked on the door three times, and the maid hurriedly closed the door and fell on him with kisses.
The girl wrinkled her nose in disgust. At some point, it even seemed to her that he was going to eat her, but they only ran away down the corridor holding hands. Cerys looked around before silently entering, just as the door creaked, causing her to mentally turn to the gods in a not too kind way. But when she realized that no one was chasing her, she allowed herself to approach the lullaby before propping up the door with an oak chair.
Rhaenyra snored softly while Cerys loomed over her with a too hostile look.
She hated her sister even before she was born. Her father saw Rhaenyra as a potential son, a potential heir. As he had always done before.
Viserys always said that the gods were very cruel to him, but his children suffered the most. Behind all this nonsense about the desired son, he completely forgot about his already born daughter. He always made a martyr out of himself and Cerys wanted to slap him in the face and beat all this nonsense out of him, as he did with her.
With each new pregnancy, he paid less and less attention to her and forbade Aemma from spending time with their child, arguing that the Queen needed peace. Viserys covered her mother with a glass dome, admiring her as if he were insane. And that's why when Rhaenyra was born, she scoffed evilly, feeling incredible pleasure from a little disappointment on a man's face. Of course, not as much disappointment as at her birth.
Throughout her pregnancy, the girl wanted this child to die before she was born. Cerys thought that these thoughts would go away, leave her, albeit angry, but at peace. But this did not happen.
The nasty voices in her head did quiet down for a while, but as soon as her mother's contractions began, they returned, and this time not alone, but with a strong desire to hurt herself. The scheme was simple and as old as the world: to hurt yourself physically so that it hurts less mentally. And it really worked.
Lips bitten to the blood, nail marks on pale skin, small scars from her father's dagger - all this was the result of relieved pain, a caustic reminder that she was unloved.
Cerys wanted to kill Rhaenyra for a very long time, she believed that in this way she would alleviate the suffering of the little one, because when she grows up, she will be as unhappy as her older sister.
She stood over a small body with a pillow in her hands and was about to lower it to her face, when the baby grabbed her finger with her small hand, forcing Cerys to stop. The girl looked at her sister in front of her with tears in her eyes, still not daring to take the planned action. A heavy sigh left her lips as the pillow nevertheless fell out of the older princess's hands and she walked away.
This act was very selfish, in her opinion, but she so wanted at least someone to love her for nothing. She could no longer endure this loneliness, devouring her soul every day.
And then Cerys realized she was just as cruel as her father.
author's note:
I hope everyone noticed the parallel
between Cerys and Viserys
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𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒, 𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐫𝐚 & 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭
Romance"𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐨, 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭... 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧."
