I looked at you and felt safe for what felt like the first time I learned to survive off the air you breathe the moves you make and the way you feel. I walked a tight rope of thoughts trying to please you and understand you I analyzed your traits memorized your tones and expressions I became your mirror your shadow your clone your reflection. I became your subconscious you say your walking on egg shells I'm walking on nails the rust rushes in my veins and as I split and scream my curses I soon realize I am overwhelmed with anger that no one but me deserves to feel I break to the look of fear that comes across your face and ask myself why am I like this? Why am I so hard to be loved so hard to be understood why can't you hear the waves of love I'm sending with my gifts why can't you see that I need you unwilling I need you to understand I need you to be patient. If you were to leave I'd feel like a husk of skin with no soul to fill it empty non human with nothing to exist for and no identity left I would fall apart until I get a simple text a smile an occurrence where I cross your path. You are the hero and villain in my story but it will always feel like my fault when it's no one's at all.
