I am now sitting in my hotelroom, in the bathroom. We'll actually on the bathroom floor.
I only wear my big Ferrari hoodie which once belonged to Charles but he didn't ask for it back so I still have it.
I pulled the hoodie over my knees and sit on the floor like a little bean.
It's almost ten p.m and I sit here, thinking about life, when all of a sudden my phone rings and shows multiple messages.
DJ Lando- boys and girls, hosting a party tonight in this fancy club. Everybody come!! We gotta celebrate the third last race!😜
Lew Lew- already on my way
Georgie- are you the DJ Lando? If so I don't wanna come 😂
>DJ Lando- You're just jealous because you can't remix as good as I can😎
Honey badger- will there be alcohol 🤩
>DJ Lando- obviously, Danny
I look at the text messages from the group chat. Great, a party. The least I wanted right now.
I turn off my phone and lie down again.
I don't know why but somehow I feel so empty. I feel like I've lost my sparkle.
I was so happy some hours ago but somehow I feel so depressed right now, so low.
Right as I am about to fall asleep on the floor my phone buzzes.
It's Lando.
„Hello pretty girl, you're coming to the party right?" he sings into his phone.
„I don't know, I'm not feeling like drinking nor partying" I respond, completely honest.
„Oh come on, it's been a long time since you were drunk. Let's party!!" Lando say excited.
„Urghh okay, just because I really don't wanna feel anything right now" I respond and hear him laugh at the other end.
What i said was true. I don't want to feel anything. My feelings are completely nixed right now. At the one hand I want to kiss Charles and hug him and don't want to let go of him in the other hand i am scared he will do it again. I am scared that I was too forgiving. I am just scared.
Love and fear are the two emotions that i am currently feeling. And I don't want to feel anything now.
So I will drink, like my father.
I put on a sparkly golden dress I found in my luggage and match it with fitting golden earrings, necklaces and my golden Rolex watch.
I am not in the mood to party at all but knowing I will not feel myself after some shots gives me at least some motivation.
God, I sound like my dad.
———————-
„Oh my god you're finally here!" Lando squeaks as he sees me enter the club, alone and confused what to do.
He wears a bright neon orange colored shirt and basic light blue jeans. His headphones hang around his big neck and a pink feather boa hanging off his neck too.
„Come on let's party!!" Lando shouts over the loud music, takes my hand and guided me to the back of the club where I see all the drivers and some of their girlfriends and wives.
I see Kika and Lily chatting when they look at me and squeal in excitement.
„Come here right now!!" Kika screams, i already hear the alcohol in her voice. She pats on the free seat next to her and I sit down on it.
"Girl that scar looks crazy, I'm so sorry bout it tho but to be honest it gives you the look" Kika says while handing me a drink.
"Only one?" I say sarcastically, pointing at the shot in my hand. "I thought we're gonna party hardy?" I add making them laugh.
