Make me love myself so that I can love you, please
These were the very words he had written down for his boyfriends right from the first day they started dating.
These were words from years ago, and he planned to never have to reread that sentence, ever.
So it was pretty disappointing to see himself in the same situation, with the same note in his hand and heart ready to give up everything he had ever worked for
He knew his life was going to be short, he wasn't good enough for this world, he knew it, so why in the world was he so guilty for this.
He knew he meant more than trillions to his boyfriends, but they weren't here now we're they?
You mean the world to me, but my world is fading away
He knew there was the no one to save him this time, no one to help him out of the blackhole he was falling into, no one to tell him the directions of the void he had stumbled in
He wanted to get out of here, he wanted to go back home, to feel the warmth he has been craving for so long
But there no one home, no one to go back too, no one to talk to, no one hug, no one to love
There no one, not any more, never again
It was empty, he was empty
So he began to scribble down the last words this world will never know from him
And now the world feels like it's finally given up on me, I can't blame it though, can I?
It's been years since you left, and you still haven't showed up to save me, my princes.
I should've saved you, but I couldn't, I'm sorry. You did so much for me, but I could never returned the favor
It was my fault, I know I couldn't protect you like I had promised, but I'll make it up to you, don't worry.
I'm coming to you, so please don't be mad at me
I know I wasn't good enough for you, I'm sorry. But I'm coming up there to tell you all about something you left behind
Our lovely girl
She's all grown up now and just started her job as a software engineer
I'm sorry it took this long for me to apologise, but I didn't want to leave Lia all alone
She misses you so much, I wish you meet her know but it's fine, I'm sure she won't mind that much
She won't mind that I'm gone, no one will
With that, he took a step forward. Inhaling the crisp autumn air, and exhaling
This was the end, wasn't it
So he picked the note and pen he held in his hand upward and towards each other
Don't bother making me love myself, cause that'll never happen. But don't worry, I still love you
The wind was blowing alot now as if trying to prevent something from falling
Or rather someone
I, Bang Christopher Chan, give up
Large tear like rain drops started pouring down, making some of the ink on the note start to bleed
I'm sorry
The rain had started to completely pour down now and it was getting harder to write
I love you, Jinnie and Sungie
Drop.
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Yes, I did delete my old book. Please if you would like to request give either a detailed message or mention the genre you want it to be
