thoughts

god I am alone

Same path, same smell, but my thoughts today are different. Today I'm not going to think about the fact that I'm going to send you a message when I get home. It's strange, everything seems like before but everything is so different. I think of our eyes that met earlier. But this time I felt embarrassed. For the first time no smile, no nod or even a sort of hello. For the first time I avoid this familiar face which is now so unknown to me. A lot of questions come to me, Will we have to talk to each other ? will we have to work together ? or worse will we have to become good friends ? These questions never leave me. It's so strange just three months ago we spent almost all our days together exchanging loving glances and now I have to avoid you. I don't even dare look at you anymore. I think the most painful thing is knowing your reason. You were tired of people telling you "you deserve better". Which means you force yourself to stop loving me for the others? Don't tell me that you have already forgotten all the times I accompanied you to mass even though I hate God, all the times I agreed to be nice to your friends when you know very well how that it's hard for me to reach out to the others. I even tried to stop thinking about the fact that I was going badly, I was ready to force myself to think that everything was going well in my life for you. I tried but you only listened to the others. You forgot that we loved each other. So here I am, walking alone wondering what I'm going to do at home. I will surely read poems about happy lovers, I will read the happiness of the others, this happiness which is no longer mine.