Gone For Good

Gone for Good

It's all my fault, how could I have been so careless so stupid... I wish I listened to you Markus. I should have kept walking. If I did listen, you would still be alive. I would still have you here by my side, as my best friend but most importantly as my twin brother Markus.

This happened last year, Markus and I didn't have your usual twin brother/sister relationship. In fact, we were more like best friends. We liked the same things, told each other everything and both had our dirty blonde hair and blue green eyes. Markus and I were waking home from our friend Leah's house for study group. Even though we were still nervous about finals the next day, we didn't know what was going to happen next, and how bad it was going to be. While we were walking, that's when we saw them. Those group of guys who walk around town like they own it, scaring little kids off the street an spray painting every wall they walk past. One of them just got out of jail, at the age of 15. I looked at Markus, my body shaking and my eyes getting wider by the second. "Justine just keep walking, ignore them" Markus strictly told me in my ear, he had a tremble in his voice. "Yeah I know", I replied trying to pass off that I wasn't scared. Even though I couldn't stop shaking. Markus has had some experiences with the boys. He used to be part of their "group". Well that was until he realized he didn't want to do what they were doing and he just left. They hated him ever since. The closer they got to us,the more scared I felt and stayed closer to Markus. Jake the "leader" of the group, kept walking faster and towards me. His black hair tucked into his Yankees SnapBack, and his old raggedy blue Nike sweatshirt. I could smell the cigarettes from where I was. Markus grabbed my hand, I could tell he was scared because he was shaking and had goosebumps all over his body. "Hey you blonde girl" Jake yelled at me. "Justine DO NOT answer him just keep waking" Markus demanded. But it was too late, I already turned around and said,"Shut up Jake" Jake grabbed me by the arm. "Let her go" yelled Markus. "Shut up" Jake told him. And that was it, Markus threw the first punch and Jake hit him right back, I couldn't even look, I just hoped that in that second, a police car would show up and stop the fight. I couldn't do anything as the other 3 boys ganged up on Markus. I heard him scream in pain as well as the other boys. And then..... It happened... I heard this loud booming noise 2 times and a scream to follow it, my heart stopped completely and I felt cold as I realized what the sound was. I was to scared to look up. When I did, I saw something I never dreamed of seeing my whole life. Jake had a gun in his hand, and there was Markus lying on the street getting paler by the second. I couldn't believe it, my brother had been shot. Jake and his friends ran as I dropped to my knees and started crying. I couldn't stop. I didn't even dial 911 because I knew it was too late. The blood kept coming out by his stomach and near his heart. He stopped moving, and as I put my ear to his chest, I could hear his heart slowing down and coming to a stop. The only words I could manage to say were,"Markus please, don't go, your strong and you can pull through this, just please, dont go." The last four words that came out of his mouth were,"Just keep walking Justine " His eyes closed and he stopped breathing. Then he was gone. Gone for good. I couldn't stop crying.  

After you died, I kept asking myself questions. "How am I supposed to explain this to mom?" "Who am I to trust?" "And will my life ever be the same now that your gone?" I told myself I would be fine. I lied, everywhere I go, people look at me with sympathy and tell me the same thing. "Markus was a cool dude" "I'm sorry for your loss" and "I know how you feel" But I don't want their sympathy!!!!! I just want you back!!! They don't know you, they don't know how I feel. They don't know what it is like to lose you!!! You were everything to me!! Now what am I supposed to do? You were the one person who I could trust, the one I could run to if anything went wrong!!!! The person who told the kids at school to back off if they picked on me!! Now your gone Markus!!!!! And it's all my fault!! Why? Because I didn't listen to you! Now every night when I go to sleep, I have nightmares of when Jake shot you. Jake..... Now every time I say that name I feel cold. He's in jail but that's not good enough!! He needs to feel the same pain I felt for losing you!! Mom and dad are acting different now!!! They take up long hours at work since you've been gone!! It's like they forgot they have another kid to take care of!!!!! I visit your grave every now and then..... But I can't bare it.... Just looking at the epitaph of your grave drives me crazy!!!!!  

Markus Louis Clarke- A son, a brother, and a role model. You will never be forgotten, every day we will live in a positive memory of you. Always in our heart.

How am I supposed to live in a positive memory of you when ever day I blame myself!!!???? I miss you Markus.... And I'm so sorry... I should've just kept walking... If I did,by then you would still be here, alive and by my side. But that can never happen. Because your gone. Gone for good. And it's all my fault. 

Authors note:

Hey thanks for reading.... This is the first story I posted so I hope you like. I'll have more like this up soon...

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Love Bri