Now back at the apartment with the others we all head over to the college taking a seat in the courtyard as I look up at Mindy with confusion written all over my face "care to explain what we're doing here?" I asked her "I am about to do exactly that Z." Mindy said as I nodded at her "okay." I muttered "okay, nerds. Listen up! As terrifying as this all is, I'm actually glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time." Mindy said as she looked at us "yep." Chad muttered lowly "it's fine. Okay. The way I see it, someone is out to make a sequel to the requel." Mindy said.
"Um, what's a requel?" Anika asked her "you're beautiful, sweetie. Let's hold questions to the end." Mindy replied "Stab 1 took place in Woodsboro. Stab 2 took place in college." Sam said "so, do we think that the killer is trying to copy the movies?" Tara asked "that is one possibility. Heroes now in college: check. Suspicious new characters brought in to round up the suspect list and/or body count: check, check and check." Mindy said "I don't like this." Ethan muttered lowly as I glanced over at him with a smile on my face "but it can't just be about Stab 2." Mindy said "why not?" I asked her.
"It would make sense if this were just a sequel. But we're not in a sequel, because nobody just makes sequels anymore. We're in a franchise! And there are certain rules to a continuing franchise." Mindy said "I had a feeling." Sam mumbled "rule one: everything is bigger than last time. Bigger budget, bigger cast, bigger body count. Longer chases, shoot-outs, beheadings. You got to top what came before to keep people coming back." Mindy said "beheadings?" Chad questioned "beheadings. Rule two: whatever happened last time, expect the opposite. Franchises only survive by subverting expectations. If the killers last time were whiny snowflake film nerds with Letterboxd accounts instead of personalities, you can bet the opposite will be true here." Mindy said.
"Jesus." I muttered while looking down at the ground "and rule three: no one is safe. Legacy characters? Cannon fodder at this point. Usually brought back only to be killed off in some cheap bid for nostalgia. It's not looking too good for Gale and Kirby. Oh, and that's not even the worst part!" Mindy said "this is the part where she tells us the worst part." Chad said "the worst part is franchises are just continuing episodic installments designed to boost an IP. Which means main characters are completely expendable now, too. Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson, Ellen Ripley, Sally Hardesty, Jigsaw, Tony Stark, James Bond-I mean even Luke Skywalker-all died so their franchises could live on. That means it's not just the friend group. Any of us could go at any time, especially Sam, Tara and Izzy." Mindy said as the three of us glanced at each other nervously.
"Wait, any of us?" Ethan asked her "yeah." Mindy replied "does-am I in the friend group?" Ethan nervously asked her "yeah." Mindy said as she nodded at him "am I, like, one of the targets?" He asked again "mm-hmm." Mindy muttered "am I gonna die a virgin?" He fearfully asked as I looked down at the ground in embarrassment "that was a weird overshare. But it brings us to our current suspects: Ethan. The shy, dorky guy who no one suspects because he's so shy and dorky. Who also happens to be in close relation to one of our main characters, Izzy." Mindy said as she looked at him.
"Why am I on the suspect list? Because I'm randomly Chad's roommate?" Ethan said "roommate lotteries can be juked. You could have fixed it to get next to us. Quinn. The slutty roommate. A horror movie...classic." Mindy said as she walked over to her "sex positive, but...thank you?" Quinn said as she looked up at her "mm-hmm. Um, how did you come to live with Sam, Tara and Izzy?" Mindy asked her "I answered their ad online." Quinn replied "okay, say no more. You've already implicated yourself enough." Mindy said "it was an anonymous ad, Mindy. And you know we vetted her. Plus her dad is a cop." Tara said "and that makes it more likely that she's the killer, because having a cop dad is a great cover. Do you not remember how these movies work, Tara?" Mindy exclaimed.
"Is she always like this?" Quinn asked me as I nodded at her "and finally...Anika. Never trust the love interest. That goes for you too, Izzy." Mindy replied as she nodded her head at me "okay! So, we have our rules and we have our suspects." Sam said "but wait. What about you guys?" Ethan asked as he looked at all of us "I mean, I think it's pretty safe to rule out the five of us who went through this last year in Woodsboro." Mindy said "agreed." Chad replied "um, not agreed. What if the trauma you all went through caused one or more of you to snap?" Quinn said "yeah, or the fame you got from the killings made you thirsty for more. I mean, let's be honest here, some of the theories online about Sam and Izzy are-." Ethan said.
"Don't you fucking dare." Tara angrily said as he backed down "okay, she's right, though. I mean, face facts...if we're all suspects, you're all suspects." Anika said as we all looked at each other with fear in our eyes.
