October 20th - 6:00am
June
"JUNE! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!" is what I awake to the next day. Going to bed last night, I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to finish my homework. My body trembled like a leaf in the wind due to the hunger that left a deep ache in the pit of my stomach. I can't even remember the last time Uncle Issah had let me eat a meal. Sometimes he will allow me to eat a piece of toast or an apple but usually I must sneak my own food. If he sees something missing from the cupboard it will usually never end well for me. He controlled everything I did.
I knew that Issah was not good to me, that this was a man who did hurt me both physically and mentally but that didn't stop the fact that it was my reality and when you hear something for so long you start to believe it.
"JUNE MARIE!" Rang through the house like a glass dropping in a silent room. My body tensed as I rushed out of my creaky bed and barley standing bed frame. I rushed to the door and swung it open to swing around and rush down the stairs towards the living room where my Uncle was. "God took you long enough you fat bitch." he hissed from where he was picking up his briefcase by the door. I shuffled uncomfortably, not knowing what he wanted from me and praying he didn't try to swing at me. He grumbled under his breath as he finally turned to look at me and rolled his eyes as if he were disgusted by the sight of her, he probably was. "I have guests coming over tonight, I expect dinner to be made and I want your disgusting ass out of the house before the guests arrive, you may not return home until after midnight, understood?" he commanded, his voice stern and giving me no room to disagree.
That didn't stop my shuffle of unease, he wanted me to stay out? Make dinner. When was I supposed to leave? What was I supposed to make?
I must have taken too long to respond because Issah didn't want to wait for my reply any longer, he swung his briefcase around so it smashed into my already bruised side, sending me stumbling into the wall and crying out in pain. "Do you understand me, June Marie?" he hissed, getting in my face.
I nodded my head, unable to verbally form a reply due to the tremble in my entire body. He leaned in closer, his face inches from my face as if he were observing me under a microscope, as if he could smell my terror on me. Suddenly he spat on me and laughed loudly leaning back and making his way towards the door, "God you really are just so pathetic, just a bitch like your mother, just a coward like your father. Truly you are so lucky I am so good to you, you little bitch." he said as his parting words and slammed the door behind him.
I didn't move from my spot leaning on the wall until after I heard his car leave the driveway and I was sure he was long gone. Stifling my disgust reacting to his spit on my face, I whipped my face on my sleeve then rushed upstairs to get ready for my shower before school. Taking a quick shower and scrubbing my skin as hard as I could to get the feel of Issah off of me, I grabbed whatever clothes were the cleanest and was out the door, walking down the worn path on my way to school.
I liked walking. I had to walk everywhere I went, I didn't have much of a choice but even then. Walking gave me time to exist. I could think, but I didn't have to. I could think about the nature around me insead of the situation at hand. I could just blend. Sometimes I wish I could just stay here. Come to this path and never leave it, just end it all in this beautiful place so at least I may be at peace when I go. Who would miss me?
Nobody.
I have no friends and no real family, Issah would be glad I was gone.
Approaching the school campus, I ran through my regular routine of going to my locker and getting my books for my first two classes. Students crowded the halls, being loud and talking over each other but nobody paid me any mind, I was a part of them. I didn't bother them and they didn't bother me. I got to be invisible.
I wish I was always invisible.
Sitting down for my first class which was history, the teacher lectured on and on but I wasn't really listening, my eyes were drawn to the window where the sunny day quickly became overcast and clouds covered the once sunny sky. I really hoped it would rain. I loved rain. The smell, the sound, everything about it was perfect.
The bell rang loudly, startling me out of my daze enough to make me jump and knock my history book off my desk. It clattered onto the floor and right in front of a booted pair of feet. The booted feet kicked the book to the side as if dismissing it after it tried to assault them. I looked up to meet the eyes of the owner of the booted feet only to be met by a harsh set of angry brown eyes glaring back at me. "Are you trying to be in the way? Fuck. Keep your belongings on you, no need to throw them at me to get attention." she said through a smirk as she walked away.
Rolling my eyes I leaned down and picked up the kicked and fallen book. Whoever shoved a stick up her ass needs to pull it out because that was rude.
Sighing, I stood and cursed myself for my stupidity and jumpiness. She was right, I need to keep my shit to myself.
