safe inside, criminal minds [ 1 ]

015. trauma

Spencer sets out all the takeout food on the coffee table, giving a couple of things to Danielle so she doesn't have to reach for them. Hotch gave him time off to be with Danielle after everything, Spencer not wanting to leave his sister's side for a bit.

"Here." Spencer hands her some of the food.

"Thanks." She mutters. Spencer turns the TV on, finding a random movie to put on before he gets his own food and sits down.

Spencer keeps quiet for a while, not wanting to push any of Danielle's boundaries.

"You're not pestering?" Danielle asks after a while.

"No." Spencer shakes his head. "I know what it's like to... to go through something terrible. I'm not forcing you to talk about anything."

"Thanks." Danielle mumbles and Spencer nods.

"Whenever you're ready, though..." He starts.

"I know." She says.

+++

It's been about a week and Spencer still isn't going into work yet, but he has helped on a case or two from home.

The two siblings are watching TV, Spencer letting Danielle pick what to watch. At some point, he hears sniffling and looks over at his younger sister, the girl's hand pressed over her mouth as she tries to keep her cries quiet.

"Dani?" He gently calls.

"I'm sorry." She hiccups, her face screwing up as she sobs. Spencer moves a little closer to her, reaching out, but hesitating. "I-- I never should've--"

"Hey, hey. It's okay. Take-- take your time." Spencer soothes.

Danielle continues to cry while Spencer rubs her back.

"I never should've left. I-- I was so stupid. I left the club cause-- cause my stupid fucking Uber was supposed to be there, but-- but it wasn't and--" She sniffles, her voice getting caught in her throat.

"God, I'm such an idiot." She whispers.

"You're not. You're not an idiot." Spencer frowns. "Bad things happen, that doesn't mean anything's your fault." He says.

Danielle whimpers, choking on one of her sobs.

"He-- he cut the guy open right in front of me." She states, her voice quiet and cracking with practically every syllable. "He... he made me look at him after he was done, he... it was so terrible. I-- I couldn't--"

"I know." Spencer mumbles, stroking her hair.

"I see it every time I close my fucking eyes. I-- I only have nightmares now and... I-- part of me wants to quit my job, but the other part of me is more motivated to work harder and help more people, I don't--" She struggles to breathe.

"Hey, hey. You're okay. You're safe." Spencer assures. "It'll be okay. You're safe, I promise. I understand."

"How do you still deal with it?" She asks, looking over at him with heartbroken eyes which tear at his heart.

Spencer frowns in thought. He quietly sighs, pulling the brunette into a tight hug, resting his chin on her head. Danielle sniffles, burying her face in his arm, Spencer's grip only tightening when her body shakes with cries.

"It's hard." Spencer admits. "I... I'm probably not the best person to get advice from on coping. I just... just drink a lot of coffee." He lets out a weak laugh. He lifts his chin to smooth some of her hair down, cradling her head. "The team help me, though." He mumbles. "You help me." He adds.

"How?" Danielle's question comes out muffled.

"By not letting me drown myself in all of it." Spencer says, kissing her on the head. "It's a lot easier to handle when you have people around. Don't isolate yourself. Not all the time, anyway."

Danielle manages a small nod, her hold on his arm tightening. Spencer frowns, continuing to comb through her hair as she slowly manages to relax.

+++

It's been a few months and Danielle has gotten her cast off, slowly managing to recover somewhat from being kidnapped. She wasn't allowed in the field for a little while until her therapist approved she seemed stable enough to return.

Spencer makes sure to check on her, especially when he's out of town on a case. Danielle often spends time with Penelope, even spending some nights at her place.

The team just got done handling The Replicator case and attended Strauss' funeral.

After Strauss' funeral, the team are sitting outside of Rossi's while reminiscing and drinking wine.

"It had to be a perfect round. Coming right back at me was the target. And it was blasted right through the chest. The goggles come off... and it's Strauss." Derek says. "I mean, I was like, what?" He laughs. "I would have never believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. That woman... she was one hell of a shot."

"Um... do you guys remember that one time that she called me, but I thought that it was somebody else?" Penelope asks while pointing to Derek.

"That-- that was funny." JJ says.

"Oh, maybe for you. I was mortified." Penelope says.

"Oh, Spence told me about that." Danielle giggles, definitely a bit tipsy. "That was hilarious."

"What did you say?" Blake asks.

"I said, "talk dirty to me."" Penelope says. Blake's jaw drops.

"Yes, she did." Derek nods. "That's my girl."

"Are you kidding?" Blake asks and Penelope shakes her head.

"Hey, that was my line." Rossi says.

"Whatever are you doing here?" Derek asks.

~ ~ ~

Rossi taps his spoon against his glass.

"Last year, right here, we had a... very different celebration. Of life, of love, and good people. This year it's the, uh, other side of that. Because, well... that's what families do. It's been a hard year. But tonight... we celebrate a life well lived... well loved... to a good woman... an even better mother... to our friend... who I will miss very much."

They all reach out to the middle and clink their glasses.