𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐘 -- 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐒

⸻ 𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵 , 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸 , 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭

✾ 𝙥𝙤𝙚𝙩𝙧𝙮 ✾
· ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── ·

a ghost , a shadow , a shell
do i crawl across the grasses of the graveyard I built for myself?
have i wished such a vapid eternity upon my own soul?
am i an echo of what i was meant to be?

a ghost.

I feel as though I walk with such a lightness that my steps are no longer heard or recongnized by those who one knew me. I wonder if they've mourned me the way I mourned them when they vanished from my life. I move and glide through people as if I was never really there at all. I wonder if I linger in their thoughts, if they remember the sun-dusted kisses I planted on their cheeks upon their arrival. If they remember the hugs so tight out of fear that they would disappear. I suppose it's hypocritical of me. Maybe I was the one who vanished from the spot in their life that they saved for me. The only thoughts I haunt now are my own.

a shadow.

I linger where the darkness sits, so I might breathe it in a little easier. The darkness is safe, it is familiar. I know the darkness inside my own head, so perhaps it is safer for me to sit there and dwindle. I follow your snow-steps, tracing your footprints with my own. It's easier to walk that way. Perhaps it would be easier if I got a pair of snowshoes, or maybe I should continue this path, letting myself hide in the darkness of your unfathomable presence. I am my own darkness, I hide behind a masquerade of light. I wonder if I'm the only one who doesn't know who I actually am.

a shell.

My heart feels carved out. Not by any fault of others, but of my own. I scrape the debri of my soul for a language that doesn't belong to me. A language that I have stolen. I don't know the words in which I speak. My rib-cage feels coated in something like concrete and stone, a prison to keep whatever is left of my soul inside. It's scratching at the walls of my mind, talons screaming against the hard surface of the shell I adorn. There are critters, creatures and hermits alike that have their own shells to protect themselves, but I fear as though I'm protecting my body from my own mind instead.

why am i sinking into my own burial ground?
have I dreamed of such a nightmare all on my own?
where will i go in the end?
a ghost , a shadow , a shell