follow your sun

Goodbye / Welcome Back

"It's for the best" The male in front of you says.

"I know."
You wipe the tears off your cheeks before they roll down to your chin. "Then why does it hurt so bad?"

A moment of silence before he cocks his head to the sound of his name being called. "Suson, we need to go!" A voice hollers.  One more glance back to you and suddenly it felt like you were staring into his low eyelids forever.

"I love you." He whispers.

You smile.

"Who knows? Maybe this whole pop star idol shit won't work out and I'll be back in 6 months."

He embraces you once more before the lingering image you saw was the back of his head, his dark shaggy hair.

That was the last time you saw your boyfriend, Ken Suson. Well- EX-boyfriend. A few months after the success of his group's latest single, the texts slowed down. The calls became unapparent. The love seemingly vanished. He was suddenly Ken of SB19- the most famous boy group in your country. And you became someone from his past he never talked about. He gave you no choice but to move on.

You shake off the memory. That was years ago, by now you've already graduated college abroad and have had your fair share of dates and god awful relationships. You ground yourself in the present and remember where you were- work. A 9-5 cubicle to be exact. It's not exactly where you imagined yourself with a Bachelors  degree in performing arts, but they don't call it struggling artists for nothing. Although, not everyone is struggling.

"I can't BELIEVE how hot these Filipino boys are!!" Your coworker the same age as you throws herself over the small wall dividing your desk and hers, her arms completely in your face holding her phone.
"That sounds backhanded. And are you only showing me this because I'm Filipino?" You tease her. "You're not looking too good white girl!" The young girl perks her head up to laugh, her hair falling in her face.

"I'm just not used to seeing Filipinos in the spotlight like this!" Her eyes stay on her screen. "It's...kinda cool."

You ignore your coworker as she remains glued halfway over into your cubicle as you continue to type the last of the documents.

"Especially the guy with the deep voice!" She mumbles. "He is sexy."

"Go fangirl somewhere else."

"KEN SUSON!"

You're hands freeze above the keyboard. Without realizing it, you hold your breath and your head jerks up. You haven't heard that name in well over 5 years (since you left the Philippines to continue school in America.) It took you back for a moment before you had to clarify.

"What... did you just say?"

Your coworker turns her phone screen towards you. "The cute boy with the deep voice! His name is apparently Ken Suson."

You abruptly stand from your swivel chair and snatch the phone from her hands. Your eyes immediately follow the brown-skinned boy as he dances across the screen in head-to-toe designer. You could recognize him anywhere- no matter how long it has been.

"Hey!" Your coworker reaches. "You better not lie and say he's your cousin or something. You fooled me once but it won't happen again."

Your mouth agape as you tune her out and focus on Ken and his features. His braces were gone, he stood a little taller, his hair much shorter and platinum blonde. But his eyes- his eyes were the same. He looked...good. No, more than good. He was grown up. He was successful.

"You're absolutely not gonna believe me but... This is the ex boyfriend I've mentioned."

"THE ex boyfriend?!"

"THE. ex boyfriend." You reassure.

"The one that dumped you because he wanted to be in a boy band? Holy shit. He's real?!" She slides down into her own chair and laughter echoes the office.

Your hand forms a middle finger and you lift it high enough for her to see.

"For the record, it was mutual!"

"That's what they all say!" She hollers. "So how old were you? 13? 15?" Your coworker pokes her head back up in curiosity.

"Actually, we were 20- well Ken just turned 21."

"No shit. You guys were whole ass adults..." A grin grows on her face. "You should hit him up!"

Hit him up? Now? What would be the point in that. It's been years and he's...famous. Not to mention he probably has an industry girlfriend. That's how this always plays out. That's what you assumed happened when he suddenly stopped picking up.

You let out a mock of a laughter.

"I have no interest in rekindling the past. Is mercury in retrograde or something?"

"Now i'm starting to think you were fucking with me this whole time." Your desk mate scoffs.

Trying to process that conversation, you begin to shut down your computer and pack up for the day. SB19, huh? I guess they really did make it.