love, j 》nomin

16

dear you,

there's a saying,
a belief among the human race:

you never know how good you have it
until it's gone.

this anecdote is spread around to encourage people to live in the moment, to not take things for granted.

some people don't start listening until it's too late. foolish people. people like me.

despite my blunder, I've got a good memory and an even more active imagination.

it's not hard for me to slip back to those days, the ones that I would give anything to relive.

I remember it all, the good and the bad.

the night we left our friends at the school during the big game is a familiar favorite.
I remember the wind in my unruly hair as we drove away, leaving the town and our cares behind.

what I would give to drive with you now,
to feel the excitement in our chests as we ran away that night, fugitives from our small town academic prison.

I think about when my teenage world was crumbling, my issues stemming from possible loves and romantic interests, people who I wished were you.
struggling to breathe as I over-thought and over-worried it all.

you sat beside me,
said my name,
and all was solved.

how did you always know?
exactly what I was thinking
and
just what to say

so many times I was lost in a crowd,
overwhelmed,
panicked,
lost.

but a glimpse of you,
your wise eyes and hidden smile
was just enough to make it alright.

so that's how it'll have to be,

you, dear
living through a memory

and me,

j, love
ing the past

it would be best to let it go,
but I've never been the smartest
when it comes to these things

so I'll have hope.

hope that you may even think of me every once in a while,

hope that me, things, and circumstances
will change.

and a hope that if you ever read these letters, they'll find you in the best regards.

letters filled with words I needed to say,
words you needed to see.

love, j