Alone

My Addiction

       *TRIGGER WARNING*

Before this story starts I would like to say when I originally wrote this I was in 9th grade and was going through a lot. If you would like to know my experience being homeless and getting on my feet I am writing that as you read this.

My teeth chatter and my body twitches as I feel the quick sharp pain repeatedly. I get light headed as a smile slowly creeps from my lips in satisfaction. An addiction most frown upon more than drugs. An addiction that fills the void in my empty heart.

I haven't even noticed the tears running down my face. I never seem to anymore. There is no reason for it anymore, the crying, I should be used to this feeling by now.

I stood up from my bed and walked into the bathroom that is connected to it, separated by a door. I rinsed off the dark red from the sharp metal. I put it in a small container with the rest and put the container in the top drawer of my dresser. I plopped down on my bed, once again, that was beside the dresser.

BANG BANG BANG! Father is pounding on the door, probably drunk again. I just sat up. I already know what's going to happen, there is no avoiding it.

He broke through the lock, once again. I don't flinch as he pulls me off the bed by my hair and throws me to the ground. I don't let out a sound as I feel heavy fists hit my body; thighs, stomach, arms, all over, multiple times. Nobody could hear my screams before, it would be a waste of energy to try now. Everything is over quicker if I don't struggle. After about five minutes, he leaves. I stay laying on the ground and hugs my knees tightly. It makes breathing even more difficult, but it distracts me from the pulsing pain that the rest of my body feels.

Once I was able to get back to my feet I walked to my bed and collapsed. Rattle. I look over through my blanket until I find a bottle of sleep aid that's half empty. Just to help me keep going. I promise myself. On an empty stomach, it only took about ten minutes for it to work. I start losing feeling all over. The pain is gone. I'm not able to think. Tears continue to fall. Pathetic. I agree with myself, because it's true.

*Author's note*

Hey guys! This story is triggering pretty much the whole way through I have been told, so read with caution. The story is not meant to be that way, but it happens. I hope you can stick around to read it all. Make sure to vote if you enjoyed!