Catch Me - Charles Leclerc ✓

XVI

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╰┈➤ September of 2019,
in Singapore 🇸🇬

"Come on in." I can't believe that I'm at Charles hotel room. We were supposed to go to a private place to talk, but I didn't expect this... Well we are in a country that none of us knows and paparazzi will probably be in the looking for f1 drivers so it makes sense to come here... "Before we start do you mind if I take a quick shower? I got sweaty after what I did earlier." I nod and Charles grabs a underwear, a t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants, god damn... "If you want to change clothes to feel more comfortable, you can grab anything from the closet and the suitcase. Make yourself comfortable." I nod once again and he goes inside the bathroom.

As Charles was in the shower I decide wether or not to grab his cloths, but I was kinda uncomfortable with my black dress. It was short and tight, I feel like I should be more comfortable for this talk... I hesitate, but grab the first sweatshirt I see. It's even longer than my dress so wear just that. I kick my heels somewhere and sit on the bed and I can't help but feel Charles smell on the sweatshirt. I take a kick sniff and I smile, he smells the same after all this years...

I open my eyes and see Charles with his hair wet and the clothes he had picked up earlier. He was leaning on the doorframe as he stared at me. I stop smelling the shirt embarrassed for being caught.

"I'm sorry I took the sweatshirt I jus-"

"Shh it's fine, I told you could grab it." he interrupts me. He sits in front of me and I avoid eye contact, I'm so nervous..."So..." I sigh, there's no more escaping this convo.

"Ahh where to begin?" I really don't know where to start... I'm not even sure if I can put into words all the feelings I felt and am feeling...

"Tell me the truth Val." I take a deep breath before speaking again.

"The truth is that didn't talk to you nor trust you. When you started getting more and more recognized in the motorsport world, gossips came right behind. I believed peoples gossip. There was a lot of talk between you and a girl at the time, you've told me it was nothing like that and that you barely knew her. I believed you, but the gossip became bigger and I saw pics of you that looked like enough proof. I acted on impulse, I couldn't trust your word neither I wanted to hear another thing from you at the time. I thought it was best to leave, but I regret doing it from the first moment I stepped out of my house all those years ago. I cried so many nights, I considered to go back, but in the end I always gave up, specially because I saw news of you officially dating the girl. I tried burying by feelings and our memories together. In the beginning I was constantly looking for news of you, but I could only forget you if I didn't knew anything. Your name became like something forbidden around me... I miss what we once were and what we could've been... When I knew of your dad's death and Jules' death I was ready to fly back to Monaco and be there, but you already had her and I thought you wouldn't want to hear from me... When I got this job, I did everything I could to not hear from you nor see you and I did well, until I became your physical therapist. I hated myself for leaving without explaining or hearing you, but my insecurities took the best of me, I thought I was unworthy of you, even if we've been together for so long. You deserved better, someone more beautiful and someone that didn't had this insecurities or didn't trust you. Even after all this years I still love you, I couldn't get close to another guy like I did with you. I tried, but it was impossible. I was horrible with you at the start, you should hate me for that too, but I was just trying to protect myself..." Charles didn't spoke a word throughout my whole explanation, he listened carefully to every single word. I saw him clenching his fists and looking somewhere else that were not my eyes, but he never stopped me "After leaving, I asked my mother to not tell me anything about you... I- I didn't get one single new, because a week after I found out she was in the hospital...There's the truth..."

"All this years... of suffering on both parts, because of a gossip?" he looks at me and I gulp.

"I- yes... But when I was gaining courage to go back I found out it was official between you two, so what else could I believe?! In the end I just believed that the rumors back when we were dating were true." he looks away.

"I tried so many times Val. I tried letters, emails, calls, texts. I even tried to get in a flight to go find you! I searched to know where your father lived at the time. I did everything a teenager could and probably even more!" I get tears in my eyes. It's my fault... I suffered and he did too, because of myself "When I found out about your mother I wanted to go there and beg her for any information about you, but my mother told me that she was in a very bad state..." I close my eyes, remembering those days still haunt me, how I left my mom and didn't get to properly say goodbye, before she passed away... "Me and the girl didn't have anything before you left. I didn't want to. We did end up dating, but it was all for media. I never loved her, neither wanted to actually be with her." he now takes multiple deep breaths and his eyes get teary "After papa and Jules' death I- I tried to look for you again. I contacted your father, but he didn't allow me to see you... I was desperate to see you, so he gave me a picture of you. You had your hair blonde and a different look in your eyes, you had your camera in your hands. You looked skinnier too... I was happy that I got to see you in some way, but I couldn't help but be worried, however Toto said that you were doing alright. I believed him and decided to let you go. I dated other people, but they were all superficial relationships, in the end all I could ever desire was you." he looks at me and grabs my hands "I never hated you, I did try, but I couldn't have such feeling for you. I never loved another woman after you. I still love you Val, more than words can express, I want you and no one else. You are my first and last love." he caressed my cheek with loving eyes. I could melt right there, how could I get so lucky?

"I truly don't deserve you Char..."

"Don't say that... Just-" he gets closer and our lips are millimeters apart "Kiss me Val."