You are acting like everything is okey, but the truth is that you are breaking my heart over and over again. I hate your stupid smile because I must smile too. I hate your laugh because that sound makes my heart jump. I hate your amazing smell because it's so good that I almost fall. I hate the sound of your voice because when I hear it I am all yours. I hate when I see you because I have butterflies in my stomach. I hate your eyes because they are so deep that I am drowning down. I hate your touch because I wish it would never stop. I hate your lips because all I can think about is how they kiss? I hate that you are in all my dreams and my only pray, but you take my breath away. I hate how much I miss you, and I hate how safe I feel with you. I hate that I can't text you and I know you will never text first. I hate that you said you will call, but you never did. I hate the way I feel when I am with you because I feel comfortable, and I don't wanna leave you. I hate yours hugs because I wish you would hold me forever. I hate how you influence the way I feel. You took my smile as easily as you given it. You gave me pain and joy at the same time. I hate the fact that I already know your parents and friends and I like them. I hate that I know your favorite color, day of your birthday and where do you live. I hate that I know horror movies that you saw, music that you are listening, food you don't like and the sport that you use to play. I hate that I told about you, my friends, and how they are telling me to move on. But I just can't. And I kinda feel sorry for them, cause they never know you the way I do. I hate that tears that you gave me but more I hate that fake smile what I am trying to put on my face every single day. I hate all that nights I am just crying, shaking and trying to convince myself that I don't love you anymore. But I need you like the flowers need the rain. I hate when I am with you. And I hate when I am not with you even more. But mostly I hate the fact that I can't hate you. I can'even be mad at you. I love you desperately, and that's what I hate the most. And for all of this, I don't hate you, but I hate myself. I hate that I love you so much. I never love someone more than you. And that's the reason why I can't stop loving you. Because I care more about you than myself. And I hate that you don't see how much I love you. I know I will never be yours, but you will always be my first choice. So even when it hurts so bad, I am happy for that pain because it's the only thing what is left for me after you. That suffering is the only thing that remains me of you. And that beautiful memories that we made together. Because when I think of them, I am smiling and laughing. But then I remember it's over and I lost you. At that moment I wish I would never met you and I regret that stupid first dance with you, but then I realized that if this never happened I would never experience that strong, beautiful felling in my chest. And this felling is stronger than anything. I would never have such amazing memories. But now I have just empty place in my body and I know that no one will ever fill it like you. I can't help myself, but all I can think about is how I love you and how much I want you and how I can't stop. So please do whatever you want with me because I am all yours and I always will be.
