Helluva Boss x reader

chapter 1: lets get to business. (PILOT)

TW: Violence, foul language, offensive dialogues, sex themes, horny Stolas.

(THIRD PERSON POV)
(PRIDE, HELL)

Cars honked out of control in the busy IMP city. What else is busy? The IMP headquarters! Inside, sat 2 imps and a hellhound listening to their boss, who was the fourth imp in there. The door to the office was labeled 'IMP HEADQUARTERS (Meeting In Progress :) )'

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"..alright now I know business has been... a bit slow" Spoke the IMP boss, Blitzø, pacing around the room in front of the doodled whiteboard. "It-its no one's fault, okay, I'm not naming any names here... moxxie."

Moxxie, one of the employees made an annoyed expression but Blitzø kept speaking.
"Now, does anyone have anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again-?"

One of the employees stood up excitedly and raised one of her hands while slamming the other one on the desk.

"What. about. a car wash?!" The excited employee exclaimed with a smile from ear-to-ear.

"This is hell Millie no one cares about cars being clean!" Exclaimed Blitzø.

Then another imp barged into the room catching their breath.

"SORRY BOSS-"

"Oh what is it this time y/n?!" Blitz exclaimed pinching the bridge of his nose.

"uhh i-i locked myself in my b-bathroom! Yep!" Y/N said.

"Alright no one fucking cares, just take a seat, we're in the middle of something." Blitz pointed to y/n's empty seat.

"Right-!" Y/N shifted to their seat.

"Back to business planning! What about a billboard?" Blitzø said with stars in his eyes.

"We can't afford a billboard, sir." Moxxie said grumpily.

"Real helpful Moxxie, so glad you're in the room right now-" Blitzø said sarcastically coming up to Moxxie and casually smacking him off his chair. "Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?!" The boss said loudly while reaching for a small remote and clicking a big red button.

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This turned on the TV and it displayed a video. First in the video, Blitzø smacking someone's head off with a hammer, then Moxxie shooting someone in their mouth, then a tall hellhound swinging someone by the head with her mouth, then Millie slaying someone's head off before giggling, then y/n stabbing someone's head multiple times with a sinister grin.

Blitzø ate some popcorn while watching the video, Millie smiled widely at the tv, Moxxie rubbed the back of his head, the hellhound, who hadn't said a word, just stared into space with an expression that said: 'Why the hell am I alive right now', and y/n stared at the screen in confusion.

The video continued with just gunshots and screaming.

"Ah, those were the good times." Blitzø said to no one in particular with a smile on his face.

"...I am madly confused right now." Y/N said.

"I don't need any reminding, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week-" Moxxie began unamused. "-One that you additionally paid to have run for a full THREE HOURS on a channel nobody watches!"

"I would watch that all day-!" Y/N smiled proudly before being shushed by Moxxie.

"Uh- hey, excuse me, what's obnoxious about a super-fun jingle, alright?" Blitzø said cutting the video and standing up while all the other employees got back in their seats. "It's a fun distraction while an advertisement's spitting bullshit!"