TOUCH

Chapter 34

AURELIA

I clenched my stomach feeling the angst in my bones. "Zayn can't do this. He can't do this to me."

"And yet he has. Who else would do it Aura? Stop thinking with your heart. For God's sake, stop blindly believing Bridgewood. He is not the man you think he is." Noah took a step forward, clasping his hands in front of him.

Lee looked at me like she is working up the courage to find her own words. "Maybe he is right Aura. Zayn and you didn't quite see eye to eye when you first met. His group is different as well. Before you, he used to hang out with Barbie and everyone. Maybe he was just being nice for his mother's sake and when it was convenient he aired your secrets in front of everyone. I mean who else knew?"

Who else knew? Nobody except of my girlfriends and Zayn. But my mind was not ready to accept that Zayn could do this to me. He just can't. No matter what all of them said, I knew Zander when he was only with me. I knew how he behaved, what he felt and what kind of a person he was. Or was that all for show. Just to make me believe he was a good friend and not an asshole.

My entire soul crumbled as I came across a possibility of being let down and walked all over by another man I chose to trust. But there was still something. Something was missing and I didn't know what. It just didn't sit right with me.

The last time when it happened I knew my trust had been mocked and played with in my bones. I just wasn't ready to accept it. But this time as the people in front of me laid the information of yet another betrayal, I knew the information was wrong. It had to be.

I pressed my palms against my eyes and fought back tears. "I know you mean well Noah. I have stopped thinking with my heart long back. I think with my mind, body and intuitions now and all three of them are telling me that Zayn can't do this to me. He can't be the one to publish my secrets like that."

"You think I did what!"

I turned on my heels and noticed Zander standing behind me at a distance. But he wasn't looking at me. His eyes was angrily set on Noah and his stature radiated pain. So much pain.

It appeared that the people in front of me were so set on making me believe in something I didn't that they themselves didn't notice Zander until it was too late.

He lowered his head, pinning Noah with a glare. "Enlighten me Martin. You think I did what?" He started walking towards us, rather Noah so slowly that for a second I forgot it was Zayn.

His eyes were dead set on Noah as if provoking him to say the words again.

I decided to pull myself together and keep the discussion of who said what for another time. We were standing in the middle of the parking lot and the last thing I wanted was to be a reason for fight.

Swallowing heavily, I tried controlling the trembling of my hands as I pressed them on his chest to stop him from moving further towards Noah. My stomach was anxious as to how he would react because his voice had rage in them.

Zander stopped. He held both my hands by the wrist but didn't make eye contact still. "You think I told everyone about Aura. Ofcourse you do. How easy to blame it all on the alleged bad guy and mess up the one thing he values the most." Zander's voice jumped up several octave. I could feel him shaking beneath my palms. "You think I did it for fun and games as if I don't die a little death every time she is hurt. Fuck you Noah Martin. I love her, you fucking asshole."

My hands gave up on the strength that held on him but they still remained on his chest because he didn't leave them. I looked up at him my eyes widened in shock.

We were now surrounded by a handful of people in the parking lot who started wolf whistling at this revelation of his, their phones clicking pictures and taking videos.

I urged him to look at me tugging on his t-shirt. Zander faced me with pained expression and unfallen tears in his eyes.

"You don't have to say anything Summer. Its just my truth okay. I'm not asking anything from you. Nothing changes between us." His voice were merely a whisper meant for only me and his eyes were pleading.

I squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my head.

There was a frozen silence inside of me as I gathered my thoughts. I finally lifted my head and gave him a nod.

Zander drew a shaky breath and grinned at me. "Thanks for trusting me Aura."

After reaching my home, I called off from the work. Walking out of the bathroom from the hot shower I took, I put my comfortable pajamas and a tank and crawled into the bed. I drew the duvet bringing it past my entire head and cried so hard that my entire body shook violently.

.....................................

End of the semester was a mess. With deadlines on assignments closing in and preparing for the exams, I had a lot on my plate. It was more of a haphazard because Lee and Raven weren't exactly speaking to each other.

Raven was upset that Lee doubted Zander's intentions and Lee was furious that Raven didn't try to understand her point of view. Point of view being Noah, one of her oldest friends.

Kindly enough they both did not bring me in the eye of their storm but again if your friends were fighting, you were already living in storm.

Brie and I found solace in library and it worked between us because she needed help with two subjects.

As Zander promised nothing changed between us. Well nothing except all his friends teasing him mercilessly whenever I was around.

It worked for us because with our exams so close I needed his help with some of the topics that I missed in two weeks. Awkwardness with him was not going to settle my anxiety of missing out on important topics that might come in exam and I end up flunking the semester.

Okay that was way too much exaggeration because I did well in all my classes and assignments but being my first exam in a foreign country was unnerving me in more ways than one. The astronomical amount of pressure of not living upto the stereotype of Asians being genius was seeping in.

I made my way to Zander's house for another session of me asking him that if he is sure that I'm well prepared for my exams and he calming me down by asking me questions from our course and concluding that I'm going to graduate Summa cum laude if I continue with this performance throughout.

He was leaning back on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table. It was weird because he was playing a video game from the looks of it. Usually he was up there in his room studying or sleeping.

I debated whether to disturb him or not since he seemed too invested but before I could decide the door I was holding slipped through my hand and closed with a thud.

Zander turned and I winced because the guy whose back was facing me a few seconds ago and whom I thought was Zander, was not him.

__________________________

ZANDER'S JOURNAL

Of all the ways I had thought of expressing my feelings to a girl, any girl, yelling and declaring my love like a mad man in the parking lot didn't even make it to the top fifty.

And when that girl is Aurelia Singh. I had fucked up. I knew it. I was ashamed and embarrassed. Not because I loved her but because my confession might have made her a target of a series of jokes in future.

I couldn't keep it together. The audacity of Noah to say that I did something to hurt Aura was too much for me to take. Breaking his face in half would have been the right decision but the way Aura refused to let me move towards him showed she was a bit scared for her friends. So I chose to word vomit instead.

As much as I regret it doing in that premises, I was relieved that my feelings were out in the open for both me and her. I refused to acknowledge what I knew since a long time ago but I was glad that I finally did.

Thankfully nothing changed between us and nothing will. I promised her and until she wants more from me, we will be in the comfortable space that we already shared. I am just happy that she trusted me enough to confront two of her long time friends.

About my dramatic confession, by the way my friends are giving me hell these days, it wouldn't make it to top five hundred.