Epilogue [BxB]

not a new chapter

Hey everyone,

For those who don't know me, I am NotsoUseless. Just a person who couldn't say what was going on inside of him, so he used pen and paper instead.

Those who have read all my stories could possibly picture who I am and how my brain works. I believe those who truly tried to understand my works, know me better than my family.

All my thoughts, experiences, feelings, emotions...
Down to the little habits.

Down to the darkest thoughts.

Sometimes it just feels better to tell strangers, especially those who I will never meet. We're just two personas on the internet, no face, no name, no connection other than the words on the screen. We just share words.

I have written many words, many sentences, many stories...

But I am done.

I have nothing else to write.

I've lost my way to write.

I can no longer put in words how I feel.

I can no longer find motivation to search for those words.

In all honesty, I am done.

I am drained.

I am tired.

I'm detached from reality, living like a phantom through days, not knowing if I'm awake or dreaming.

I will probably not continue this story or make another one. I don't know if I will ever write again.

It makes sense for it to happen; I'm ruining everything around me, so why not my writing?

I've ruined my relationship, friendships, my relations with my parents, school.

I've ruined my will to live.

I just want to leave.

I don't want to die, but I don't want to live like this.
I'm tired of living but not ready to die.

I know I wasn't made to be happy,

but this is eating me from the inside out

I don't want to feel

like I can feel nothing

it makes me feel empty

I want to go

this world wasn't made for me

I wasn't made for this world

let met go

Maybe I will post a chapter whenever it happens. I don't know. 

bye

Stay true, be you and spread kindness

-NotsoUseless, though maybe I am useless after all...