A Love as True as Mine

The Pain

Heartbreak is one of the worst kinds of illness. is spreads so far into the being of whoever they inflicted. In every corner, every crevice, and every fiber. It makes sure it left no part of the human mind or body unscathed. But that's not even the worst part. Not by a long shot. Arguably, the worst part isn't that it happened, but the pain that comes with it. But I guess that much is obvious. Obviously, when someone experiences heartbreak, they are going to be in pain. However, in various forms of media, I have yet to see the kind of pain I speak of.

The soul crushing, agonizing split of your whole body. You feel so torn in a thousand different directions that you don't know where to even start putting the pieces back together, and even if you tried, you'd stop and think to yourself about why you were even trying in the first place.

Which, it's not like you could even do anything. Which just adds even more salt to the already agitated wound. did I mention that because that person you loved and cared for so dearly, was the only person you confided in, that you now have no one to talk too? That's quite lovely now, isn't it?Obviously, that's sarcasm. Its awful. dealing with all of it is awful.

Now, if you're unlucky, like i was, then the person you loved so much will completely change the moment you've broken up, and proceed to treat you as if they've never met you. The cherry on top is that they will also begin to treat you quite terribly, and then proceed to ignore every issue they cause you and choose to not help at all.

Now, of course, this is one of the many worse case scenario type of deals you see, not many people experience this sort of thing. But i find that in many cases this type of situation goes rater unrepresented.

Now, if you're a woman, like myself- and you are aware of how some men are - this behavior probably doesn't sound surprising to you. And to be honest, it doesn't surprise me either. But that makes it worse.

It's the idea that you met someone who you genuinely believed was different, and then, in the end, they had the same qualities. Those things are so hard to ignore, but the delusion has seeped in, making it harder to realize all those things that were wrong. You start to make excuses for things that should have never been excused, and it makes you wonder how you got into this mess.

But, even after all of that, you still love them. So much. You cry every day about it. And it's so painful. Sometimes, when I sit at my desk at night, I look out of my window and I look at the stars, and I think of what could have been different. What could I have done to be better? What could I have avoided? What could I have changed? But I found that even after sitting at that desk for hours, asking myself so many questions. That at the end of the day, i was begging myself. But I couldn't change anything.