STARBOY

Breath

I look at myself in the mirror, making sure my makeup and outfit look good as I wait for Charles to come pick me up. George and I decided on a small restaurant that's owned by one of Mom's friends, that way we can sneak in the back and get a private table to avoid fans interrupting us and rumors start spreading. I don't mind people knowing if I go on a date with George but he wants us to keep it private.

"Ines, Charles is here!"

I take one last look in the mirror and head out to Mom and Charles. When I see him I sprint and surprise him by throwing my arms around his neck, hugging him hard.

"Charles!! Congrats on pole! You're amazing"

"Hi Ines, thank you"

He looks a little shocked but hugs me back. I release him from the hug and spin around in front of him and Mom, showing them my outfit.

"Do I look good or do I look good?"

"Wow... I mean, you look incredible. I almost don't want to let you go outside"

"Thank you, Charles. Mom, I'll probably be late don't wait up for me"

"That's alright Ines, I'm going out for dinner with a few friends tonight as well. But remember to be safe okay?"

I promise to stay safe and wave goodbye to her and we head down to the car that's parked outside. I haven't seen this car before and look a little confused at Charles.

"I borrowed it from a friend. We can't sneak you into the restaurant in my car"

As we drive towards the restaurant I suddenly start to feel nervous. A strong pressure on my chest that almost makes me want to puke. It's weird like my body wants to tell me something. I look out the window, trying to breathe calmly but the pressure only gets worse and I start to feel hot.

"Are you alright Ines?"

He stops the car by a red light and looks at me with worried eyes. His hand gently touched my forehead. I push it away and refuse to look at him.

"I'm okay now go, it's green"

But the pressure only gets worse by the second and I start to have trouble breathing. I haven't felt like this in ages, and I realize what's going on. I'm having a panic attack... something I haven't experienced since our father passed, back then I used to have them regularly... but why now?

"Charles stop the car, stop the car!"

He immediately pulls to the side of the road and turns off the car. My heart is racing by now, I hyperventilate and feel like the walls of the car are closing in on me, so panicking I try to open the door and get out. Charles jumped out and ran around the car, catching me in his embrace the second I managed to get out.

"I'm here Ines, long deep breaths"

He breathed deeply, holding my head firmly against his chest. I try to mimic his breathing and slowly I can feel my heartbeat slow down and the pressure on my chest get lighter.

"Okay, you're not going on a date tonight. I have George's number I'll call him and tell him you're not feeling well"

I shake my head into his chest. I don't want to call off the date just because of a stupid panic attack.

"I want to go..."

He leans back a little and looks at me, one eyebrow raised.

"Believe me, sis... you do not. You look... horrible"

He smiles gently and wipes the tears from my cheeks with his hands.

"You can always reschedule... please I do not want you to be out when you've had a panic attack... why haven't you told me you've started having them again?"