Odd Impression.

Chapter 1

Hi I'm Emily Carter, I'm 17, from Scott, OH.

Everyone knows I'm perfect. My life is perfect. My clothes are perfect. Even my family is perfect.

And although it's a complete lie, I've worked my butt off to keep up the appearance that I have it all. The truth, if it were to come out, would destroy my entire picture-perfect image.

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror while music blares from my speakers.

Starting senior year of high school and seeing my boyfriend after a summer apart shouldn't be so nerve-racking, but I've gotten off to a disastrous start.

Yes, you've heard it, I got boyfriend, his name is Evan. I don't know but, he's one of the greatest football player on our school. But, people don't know who's my first kiss.

Actually, my first kiss was my first boyfriend Evan.

Our first kiss was pretty interesting tho.

Evan and I had started dating (Being boyfriend and Girlfriend) and we couldn't see each other for like, a week. So a week had passed and the weekend was there. I invited him, his best friend (Christian), and a good friend of mine (Camille) to come to my house and hang out aka play video games and stuff.

Well Camille got to my house first. I hadn't told anyone about Evan and I dating.

Well Camille and Evan were pretty good friends so I decided to tell her so she could help us be alone a few times that night. Right as Evan was about to pull into my driveway I turned to Camille and said, "By the way. Me and Evan are kinda a... Thing... now... But it's kinda on the DL." She smiled and giggled saying how adorable I was and how I said it. lol

Anyways. Evan and Christian rode together so we were all there standing around talking for like 20 minutes before we went inside. Evan kinda kept his distance from me because it was a secret, of course. So after a while I was like, "Well! Why don't we all go inside." I pointed to my front door and Camille got the picture and grabbed Christian's hand and said, "Yeah woo c'mon Christian!" And Kinda drug him behind her. Evan walked up to me, grabbed me around the waist, and kissed me. It was only a few seconds but it was the greatest.

When it stopped we stood there for a second and I said, "Just one more." and I kissed him again but for a little longer. After that we smiled really big, I Grabbed his hand, and said, "Okay! Inside we go." and we walked inside.

It was kinda great.

I know that it may seem like everyone else has had their first kiss and is doing stuff, but thats not the case.

Your age doesn't matter. A first kiss is something special, something pure, something precious. You shouldn't wish it away or go looking to get it over with. Have it with someone that means something to you.

Make it special, because thats what you deserve.

Back on Earth,

First, my curling iron sent up smoke signals and died. Then the button on my favorite shirt popped off. Now, my eyeliner decides it has a mind of its own. If I had any choice in the matter, I'd stay in my comfy bed and eat warm chocolate chip cookies all day.

As unwanted as you may feel, one day you will mean everything to someone.

Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe in years. Maybe yet, but I promise it will happen.

You may feel like the ugliest fuck up in this world, but I promise one day someone will love you, and you will love them.

There are laughs to have, amazing people to meet, places to see, and there is someone out there who is perfect for you. As worthless and empty as you may feel, there are great things ahead as you may feel, there are great things ahead of you.

Moments that will take your breath away, moments that will change evrything.

There are good times and bad times ahead of you, but I promise that even a life filled with hardshipe is better than being six feet under ground rotting away.

Throw away your razors. Replace self-hating thoughts with positivity.

Eat as much as you want. Smile. Talk. Say the wrong thing. Break rules. Make mistakes. Fall in love. Laugh. Breathes. Live. Because this life is precious and this life is beautiful.

Wait, I don't what am I talking about? I'm just being inspirational here.

"Emily, come down, " I faintly hear my mom yelling from the kitchen.

My first instinct is to ignore her, but that never gets me anything but arguments, headaches, and more yelling.

"I'll be there in a few, calm down," I call down, hoping I can get fixed my things now.

Finally I already fixed it as I can, I toss the make up on the counter, double and triple check myself in the mirror, turn off my stereo, and hurry down the hallway.

My mom is standing at the bottom of our grand staircase, scanning my outfit.

I found her weird, sometimes.

I know, I know. I'm eighteen and shouldn't care what my mom thinks.

But you haven't lived in the Ellis house. My mom has anxiety. Not the kind easily controlled with little blue pills. And when my mom is stressed, everyone living with

her suffers. I think that's why my dad goes to work before she gets up in the morning, so he doesn't have to deal with, well, her.

"Hey, I hate the pants, love the shoes, Your long sleeves is okay," Mom says, pointing her index finger at each item.

"And that noise you call music was giving me a headache. Thank goodness it's off."

"Good morning to you, too, Mother," I say before walking down the stairs and giving her a peck on the cheek.

The smell of my mom's strong perfume stings my nostrils the closer I get. She already looks like a million bucks in her Ralph Lauren Blue Label tennis dress. No one can point a finger and criticize her outfit, that's for sure.

"I bought your favorite food for the first day of school," Mom says, pulling out a bag from behind her back.

"No, thanks," I say, looking around for my sister. "Where's Caitlyn?"

"In the foyer."

"Is her new caretaker here yet?"

"Her name is Alexa, and no. She's coming in an hour. "

"Did you tell her pulling hair is her new thing, and it can cause a few disasters." I say.

I forgot something upstairs, my iPod.

I run back up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. When I get to my bedroom, and look for my iPod, I check my watch.

Oh, no. It's ten after seven.

My best friend, Camille, is gonna freak out if I'm late picking her up.

Grabbing a light blue scarf out of my closet, I pray it'll work. Maybe nobody will notice the drool spot if I tie it just right.

When I come back down the stairs, my mother is standing in the foyer, scanning my appearance again."Love the scarf."

Phew.

As I pass her, she shoves the food I love, into my hand. "Eat it on the way."

I take the food. Walking to my car, I absently bite into it. Unfortunately it isn't blueberry, my favorite. It's banana nut, and the bananas are overdone.

It reminds me of myself--seemingly perfect on the outside, but the inside is all mush.

To be honest, I don't want to go to school, I don't want to go to university, I don't want to have a career, I don't want anyone to expect anything of me ever ever ever.

I just want to sit in a cocoon of blankets all day every day sleeping and reading books because I don't think I'm cut out for this whole 'contributing member of society' thing. But, maybe, hanging-out with my bestfriend would do.

To Be Continued...