It Ends with Us • Kim Mingyu

[eighteen]

The web browsing went on for so long I didn't realize exactly when we got out of the alley, when the car converted back to having a roof over our head, or when my bladders didn't feel like a needle was poking out of it, but when Mingyu pulls up outside a shopping mall, I lift my head off my phone, feeling as if ages have passed away.

What a rabbit hole that was. It's been over half an hour. Where am I? I look outside. Night has fallen entirely. The moon, sliced in half, shines on the dark blue canvas at my left side like a sticker on a child's pencil case. For the first time, I feel like the moon staring at me, but with an odd sentiment. I can only describe it as someone who's quiet and reserved looking at an extrovert, wondering, 'How can they be like that?'.

I look away before it gets too weird for me. I'm her daughter, a voice in my head says. Why does it feel that way? I decide to push it away for a while. Mingyu pulls up at the entrance gate and says he'll meet me inside after parking the car. I say okay and get down. A humidity immediately bashes against my skin. Mingyu has a habit of turning the air conditioner in the car full speed even when it's snowing outside. I'm freezing to the pulp every time I get into his car, and when I get down, it's like I've stepped inside a fire storm. 

I roll my sleeves and swosh through the metal detectors and into the building. Again, it's freezing inside. I ask the female security where the bathroom is. She points to the front and notes a few turns. Believe me when I say, I gallop. People must've wondered if I possessed or anything.

Anyway, I spend a sweet time inside. Perhaps the sweetest. Nothing compares to getting your shit out after holding it in for an eternity. When I come out, Mingyu is standing by the exit. Leaning against the wall, he smiles upon seeing me and hands me a bottle of water. 

"Thought you might want it. You're sweating." 

"I'm too hot for myself, thank you." 

It's a shame when I say it, Mingyu's phone starts ringing, so I get no reaction. I begin taking a couple of sips of the water -- again cold -- but it washes away the heat that had been building up from holding my shit for too long, so I don't complain. Mingyu says something into the phone. 

"Gifts? Why does she need gifts?" I hear him sigh and shake his head. "Okay. Yeah, I'm at the mall. Yeah she's with me. Dinner? We didn't eat yet. What does she like?" Mingyu turns to me. "What do you like?" He asks, but before I say anything, he says into the phone, "She likes spicy food, but she's not allowed. Her stomach hurts, so you can add a little spice. Yes yes, bulgogi. Who doesn't like that? Cook whatever you want. We'll eat anything. Okay, I'm hanging up. See you."

"Was that your mom?" I ask.

Mingyu nods. "She's always asking about food. It's a matter important to her more than anything what we're going to have for meals."

"Good for you. You always get to eat good meals."

"Not when she asks you hundred times a day." Mingyu laces our hands together. "Let's go," he says. "There's Miniso at level two. We'll get presents from there."

"Do you have anything in mind?" I ask, slowly leading the way.

Mingyu rolls out his lips and shakes his head. He's so cute when he does that. It makes me want to smoosh his cheekbones like a pom pom balls and -- it gets violent in my head after that. Even I don't want to find out. What if it's something like a bizarre kink I'm not aware of?

"Kids at her age derive pleasure from shopping online. You get them a present, they don't like it, they'll sell it to their friends or strangers online. It's no use giving them something based on your taste,"  Mingyu says. "When we were kids, we used to pretend worshiping presents we didn't like. Connections seemed that fragile. And now -- her uncle got her a scarf on Chuseok and she flat out said, "It's ugly. How can you have such bad taste?" You should've seen how heartbroken the old guy was."