Fly Me 2 The Moon (Honkai Impact 3rd)

Live, Die, Instant Noodles, Repeat

I was laying on the cold floor of a dark alley, my blood had long since dried, but the sword in my chest was still there. I didn't feel any pain, I just looked up, staring at the full moon, emergency sirens still echoing throughout the city.

I didn't remember much of what happened.

Everything just went by so fast.

I knew nothing in the world would prepare me for a Honkai Eruption but... Jesus Christ.

I had just woken up, I don't even know how long I was out for, I just knew that I should be dead.

The sword was impaled through my fucking heart after all.

The situation really wasn't helped by the flood of memories going through my head. The truth of the World, a game called Honkai Impact 3rd. Maybe I had past or something and that gave me a 1-up against death some fucking reason.

I didn't really care.

I also didn't know what I was feeling. It was strange, not being able to tell if you're so utterly filled with rage you can't process it anymore, or if you've achieved some kind of rage-filled enlightenment. Because God help me, the more these memories reveal to me the future, the more I'd rather mercy kill the world hard enough to prevent Finality from causing another Samsara.

I let out a sigh as I sat up. "Of course the moon's fucking haunted."

Moon's haunted by a giant cosmic meatball called the Cocoon of Finality, which is the manifestation of a civilization so advanced and insane that they went full Human Instrumentality Project on themselves. Then they learned how to use the Imaginary Tree to enter other worlds and began forcefully evolving them by causing the crisis known as Honkai and enforcing a cycle of reincarnation every fifty thousand years through wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey, spacey-wacey bullshit!

...Either that or it could be the Aeon of Finality, Terminus from the Star Rail universe or whatever. Hell, there was also the theory Otto had where he rationalized the Honkai as some sort of cosmic natural selection, but that theory fell through cause Lord help us if we come up with something that makes sense!

Personally I couldn't care less. I'm still stabbing it in whatever it considers its face.

And don't even get me started on the next 50,000 years. That ordeal is going to be unpleasant to the point of sucking a whole lot, especially Hua going nuts. To hell with Project STIGMA - balls! Fuck that Human Instrumentality Infinite Tsukuyomi bullshit, we die like men! Then...get reincarnated, all for some blonde fuck to make life hell for everyone cause he got cucked and accidently killed his waifu. Thank you, miHoYo, and kindly fall down several flights of stairs...and increase the drop rates you fucking cowards!

And Sakura, if I fail to change anything and shit goes down the same way it did before, I am truly sorry. But please... Cuck. Him. AGAIN.

I took a deep breath and grabbed the handle of the sword impaled in my chest. "Alright, just rip it out... like a bandaid."

I took another deep breath, braced myself, and pulled as hard as I could. The blade moved slowly as I continued to pull, and the pain was just as agonizing as the pace it was going.

"G-Grrrrrraaahhhh!" With a spray of blood, the sword finally left my chest, and I was left panting on the ground wondering, once again, how the fuck was I still alive?

There was the sensation of heat in my chest, drowning out the pain, I looked down to see blue flames covering my injury. Literally burning it away, leaving behind unblemished skin.

"Oh," Was my intelligent response. "That's new."

Questions for later.

I stabbed the sword in the ground and used it like a cane to pull myself up. I looked around and saw a dead man in a suit, a badge with a MOTH logo engraved into it.

Oh yeah, Mei gets picked up by some MOTH agent and then I join as a soldier and...

Where's Mei?

Shit...

I don't remember much after the Eruption started. All I heard was deafening thunder in my ears and then... I blacked out.

Alright, I've got a goal now. All I need is a weapon. Sure, I could use the sword but...

I eyed the baseball bat near me.

The Kaslana family has some traditions for a reason, after all.

But I'd take both just in case.

I stumbled over to the dead MOTH agent and looked over his corpse to see if I could find any weapons on his person, and as luck would have it, he had a gun on him. I put the safety on and stuffed the firearm in my pocket.

I walked out of the alley and into the city of Nagazora. It looked like the apocalypse had come. Honkai Zombies and Beasts in the streets, the skies blacked out by dark clouds, fire and smoke on the horizon.

Strangely, I was more exasperated than shocked.

The memories still had me reeling.

50,000 years...

I wanted to drop to my knees, curl up and cry. I couldn't do that, even if it was only second hand memories, I couldn't, not again. I became an emotionless husk of my former self, and more or less became demon Sephiroth, then got my ass kicked by a squad of quirked up lesbians while they badly ripped-off the ending of NieR: Automata. Thank you, miHoYo, and kindly do me a favor and jump off several cliffs!

Mei, I love you to death, but we did it your way once already, and like fuck I'm waiting 50,000 years for your Hail Mary to work! Though really, I only have myself to blame for how badly things ended up. I had the power to actually make a difference, yet I never took any initiative into my own hands. I was always just a good little soldier, following whatever orders were given to me, being led by the nose by everyone else.

This time? We do things my way.

The Kaslana way: "Fuck it, we ball!"

Purple lightning sparked in the clouds above.

The Herrscher of Thunder was still in the city...

I laughed, I don't know why, but I laughed. It was a cackle of madness and insanity. Perhaps I'd finally snapped, it'd make sense considering what I now knew, I didn't care, sanity would merely hold me back.

I began to walk through the streets, zombies and Honkai beasts alike taking notice of my presence. In particular, a Chariot, a twenty-meter tall monster, decided to block my path.

"You want to play?" A manic grin made its way onto my face. "Alright, let's play!"

I kicked off the ground, bat in one hand, sword in another. I felt power surge in me as the blue flames that had healed my chest covered my chosen weapons.

It was time for the world to find out what happens when Papa Kaslana wakes up and chooses violence!