Lord of the Mysteries (chp. 501-800)

Chapter 766-770

Chapter 766: The Deities' Anchor

Knowing that the diary pages specially selected by Queen Mystic contained rather important information, The Fool Klein focused his attention and cast his eyes on the yellowish-brown goatskin in his hand.

"11th September. Ever since I became an angel, I've had the feeling that I've had my identity disassociated. In my heart, in my soul, and in the depths of my mind, there's ultimately a voice urging me, influencing me and creating an uncontrollable sense of coldness, bloodthirstiness, cruelty, and craziness.

"This doesn't stem from the external world or an influence from a god of the same pathway. I can clearly sense that it comes from one's genes, the collective subconsciousness of humanity from generation after generation. It stems from the Beyonder characteristic itself, and not from the remnants psychological influences.

"It makes me have a strong desire to hunt and kill. It makes me want to devour all the living beings around me with Beyonder characteristics. It requires me to spend a lot of effort to resist it. Even if I've already acted and digested the potion, it doesn't seem to improve.

"It's no wonder that Mr. Door said that rationality is temporary, but madness is eternal."

"28th September. I haven't written a diary entry in ages. In the past half a month, I seemed to see myself being replaced by a stranger. Bit by bit, I turn cold and terrifying. Even my daughter, Bernadette, can only allow me to show her minute amounts of fatherly love. Very, very tiny amounts.

"Just as I was about to go mad, I seemed to hear countless praises. They were from my subjects, people who had benefited from my reformations. They are the believers who view me as the Son of Steam. They praise me with great acclaim. They erected statues of me, write stories for me, and have created songs and poems for me.

"Their voices seem like a ship's anchor that helps me 'secure' myself in place.

"I began to have the ability to resist that desire and that roar within me. Bit by bit, I walked out of it as I once again possessed the normal feelings of a father, a husband, and a man.

"Just Sequence 2 alone causes such changes. At Sequence 0, at the level of a true god, how terrifying would it be to resist that madness?

"Perhaps 'They' also need an anchor so as to resist the Beyonder characteristics and the strong inclination to lose control, the urges buried deep in the collective subconscious.

"I probably understand why 'They' establish Churches and why they want to spread their faith, to write stories for their faction's saints and leave legends for their corresponding angels...

"But why do 'They' not have any anthropomorphic form other than symbols?

"I can't understand it.

"I'll try asking Mr. Door in the future. 'He' seems to know a lot in regards to the domain of deities. If 'He' had been released back then, there might very well be an additional deity today."

"29th September. After rereading yesterday's diary entry, I recalled the corresponding rituals of my Sequence 4, Sequence 3, and Sequence 2. They clearly had hints of madness and cruelty, akin to the kinds held by antagonists in novels.

"A Sequence pathway might very well be a path destined to be crazy and filled with despair.

"And this is the only path for humans to obtain extraordinary strength.

"How laughable and ironic it is.

"We strive to save ourselves, only to better destroy ourselves?"

The first page's content left Klein's heart heavy and repressed. The Roselle who had written those words was no longer an ordinary person, but someone who had become an angel, someone who had joined the Twilight Hermit Order, and someone who had seen the Blasphemy Slate. His understanding of the mysterious world and Beyonder characteristics far exceeded him, but he was even more pessimistic than him. He seemed to believe that the world's origins were innately warped, crazy, and destined for destruction.