Crossing the Lines, Reaching the Stars

Chapter 1 Betrayal

"He never came back. Even though he said he would." I cried into my sister's embrace. She held me close as the water droplets kept falling from my eyes.

This was very unlike me and I did not really enjoy this feeling. It felt heavy. I felt weak. I felt vulnerable, cold and betrayed.

Betrayal is one of the greatest sins to be ever committed by a human but the one who was betrayed feels one of the greatest pain to be ever inflicted on them.

"I know you loved him dearly sister, but you must now leave those feelings behind for now, love will come to you in a different form." Giselle speaks as she continues to comfort me. I know my sister cares deeply for me and what she said was right, but saying it and implementing it are two different things.

Giselle and I were inside my room with the doors closed, on my bed, expressing grief. I could hear footsteps getting closer and closer. It was most likely mother for no one else would visit me in my room at this hour, late at night, other than her of course.

The both of us straightened ourselves and I quickly wiped the tears from my face hoping it didn't seem like I was crying a moment ago. The door slowly opens and there I see our mother standing in front of us.

Standing with confidence, prim and proper. Her white curls were tied to the back neatly giving attention to her sharp jawline and long neck. She looked sharp, strict and proper to no fault.

"Do you girls realise what the time right now is? Go to bed and leave all your chit-chatting for tomorrow." She says sharply. She takes one last stern look at us and then closes the door. I hear the footsteps fading away. To others she may seem like a strict guardian but they don't know how much she cares for us. She's soft and gentle when she wants to be.

I sigh in relief as she didn't point out the fact that I was crying. Oh, how ashamed she would be of me if she found out the entire tale.

I look back at my sister and she returns the same gaze. Giselle was 2 years older than me, 2 years more experienced in life unlike me.

"Rosette, please forget about him. He doesn't deserve you, you will find someone else after all." She says looking earnestly in my eyes.

The way she said my name reminded me of the way he called me when we met for the second time. It was repulsing, he was repulsing.

"I know sister, I will. Please do not distress yourself because of me. I suppose it will just take some time." I answer back.

It would indeed take time, a lot of time, to get over the man you loved. The man who you thought loved you back only to end up being betrayed. Again and again the scenes reperform in my mind. Holding another woman's hand, in front of me, and leaving me for her. I was a fool to not notice what was happening behind my back and now I feel like I just swallowed an entire jar of despair.

"I should be leaving for bed now. Goodnight Rose and don't overthink this, okay?" She stood up slowly. I nodded before she left my room.

I spent the entire night crying and thinking and crying again. I didn't know how to express the feelings I was having at that moment. 'Betrayal' wasn't enough to give a meaning to it, it was more. I was like a jester being laughed at by the court, a complete fool to think Fredrick was the one.

I reminisce about the first time we met, at one of my mother's extravagant parties. He was one of her acquaintance's son. From a distance he seemed like a gentleman but there was nothing too special about him.

He was like most of the men that surrounded the room. Tall, dark hair, a bit more sharper than the others I suppose, well built and a charming smile. Any lady would swoon over him, and I was one of those 'any lady'. I regret it very deeply now.

We said our greetings and got along well. We shared similar interests and went about speaking for hours without feeling the fatigue inside our bodies. We spoke until he had to leave and those few hours, I felt more alive than I had been in a few years. I thought I felt some kind of connection between us at that time.

After that we met each other often in the afternoons to discuss different topics and enjoy ourselves. A few days more passed by and one day he finally confessed.

There we were, sitting at our usual spot in the afternoon but he suddenly wanted to go on a walk with me in the park. I readily agreed to this little change. At that park I thought I heard the most beautiful words ever not realising it was all a lie. He told me how much he loved me and asked whether I felt the same. I didn't even think for a minute before saying yes. I felt so sure of my feelings back then.

And from there on there were only pleasant memories of him in me. That is until 7 months passed by leaving us to the current day. Today, in front of me, Frederick held another woman's hand and confessed. Confessed to his sin this time. He left the city saying he had important work to do and I foolishly waited for him to return to me, only to find out he had been cheating on me behind my back for 3 months. He did come back to the city, but not to me. It was as if he never returned and his soul is still in another place.

Frederick's decision was to leave me for that woman, because he loves her.

'Love her?' Then what about me? Didn't he love me too at some point or was it all my illusion? I felt pathetic standing in front of them as he slowly left, leaving me behind with my body feeling paralyzed. Frederick didn't love me and that's when I realised, I didn't love him either.

All this time I was under the guise that I loved him so that I could feel something in this boring life. I felt sadness not only because he left me, but because I had been lying to myself all this time. Not only did he betray me but I betrayed myself too.

All these thoughts had me wondering whether I would ever learn what love actually is.