Nathan Sykes and....my mum?

Part 12- what could I eat and still look attractive eating?

Kayla Pov-

''Are you okay, Kayla?'' Jay asked, obviously hesistant about asking. But I didn't even want to answer him, I was just trying to get my head around it all.

''When he told me things, was he lying?'' I thought, out loud. Jay sighed and sat down next to me on the sofa. He didn't say anything, and I was glad, I dodn't want to talk. So I let him pull me into his chest and I let him hold me. He rubbed his hand up and down my back, in a comforting way.

''You can do better, Kayles.'' He whispered. I looked up suddenly and into his beautiful pools of blue. ''You called me Kayles?'' I smiled and he nodded with a smirk. ''I like it.'' He winked and I let out a small chuckle.

"But seriously, you don't need him to be happy." Jay returned to being serious and I sighed, looking away from him and out of the window.

Everything Nathan had said was a lie. When he told me he was falling in love with me, it was nothing. When he told me he wanted me and not her, it meant nothing. And when we kissed, he felt nothing. But not me. I was falling in love with him, I did want him and I did feel something.

With him, I felt happy. I felt like no one would hurt me and I felt safe. After everything he'd said to me. After he'd been on my side when my mum had hurt me or argued with me. But it was all fake, and it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered between us.

It felt as if he'd pulled my heart right out of my chest. The pain inside me was almost unbearable. I had never called for anyone so hard and the first time I do, it gets thrown away.

Marriage, he's nineteen! Surely he wouldn't want to marry a thirty six year old! Never mind it being my mum!

"We could go out tonight." Jay interrupted my thoughts. "You know, to take your mind off things." He shrugged. "Plus, we are fake dating and we need to announce it soon." He winked and I smiled.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I nodded and Jay grinned. "Good." He leant down and kissed me forehead, and I closed my eyes. It wasn't the same tingle as with Nathan, but it was something.

*

''You do like Italian food, don't you?'' Jay panicked and I laughed at him worrying. ''Yes Jay, now calm down!'' I giggled and he relaxed a little. ''Why are you so worried anyway?'' I asked him as we sat down at our table. 

You know, the exaggerated table? Under the stars, by the fountain, but with a heater next to us so we kept warm. Flowers on the canope around us. That sort of table. 

''I just want everything to be perfect for our first date.'' He spoke gently. I took a gulp of air and calmed myself. First date, those words spinning around in my head. Was it really a first date? Somehow I don't remember mentioning that before!

As harsh as it sounds, I didn't want this to be Jay. I wanted Nathan to be here, smiling and making me laugh. Holding my hand over the table, and not Jay. I did like Jay, maybe just not in the right way. Not in the way I like Nathan. 

In the way I love Nathan.

''Can I take your order for drinks?'' The waiter asked us, breaking the awkward atmosphere. ''Erm yes, can we have a bottle of red wine?'' Jay ordered and the waiter nodded, writing it down and walking away. ''It is perfect Jay, you don't need to worry.'' I smiled, reassuring him.

He nodded proudly and opened up his menu, taking his hand away from mine so I could do the same. Okay, so what could I eat and still look attractive eating?

Pasta? No!

Pizza? Hmmmm, no.

''I heard the chicken was nice.'' Jay said, right that's sorted then!