Here, There, and Everywhere

Chapter 00

If it's meant to happen, it will happen. She thinks. She can see it now. His eyes says it all. It's been years since she last saw him smile the way he does, it was on September of freshman year.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he says, laughing like a child.

"Nothing." She took a drag, the smoke came out of her nose before her mouth. "You're leaving when?"

"What do you mean?"

She tapped the cigarette to get rid of the ashes, "When will you leave?" she asks as innocent as a doe. Her voice too soft, it might crack.

His smile is slowly replacing confusion, "I'm not leaving."

You will. She says on her mind. He might not know it now but eventually he will. She knows that. It will not take him much time to realize the same thing. As she took a drag again, she let the smoke linger inside her mouth a little longer than usual before blowing it away. He will.

He looked at her for a while. She did too.

"I'm not leaving this time. Believe me. I want to be here. With you. I will never let this go away again."

But you will. She thinks. Not saying anything.

"Don't look at me like that. Please." If she was the same person that she was yesterday, her soul will pass into oblivion if she hears his voice with that kind of trouble. If she was the same person that she was yesterday, she will crash into his lips and let everything else disappear.
"George."

If she was the same person that she was yesterday, she probably fell between her knees.

"I'm not saying anything." she says, in her defense.

"You didn't have to. I can see it."

"You can see what?"

"That you're expecting me to leave."

"Because you will, Noah. You will leave. It will happen. You might want to be with me right now but it will change."

He took a pause, trying to make sense of what he was hearing. "You don't love me anymore?" She knew he would say that. He never knew that there will come a day that he'll ask.

She tossed half of her cigarette. Gave him a smile. One that can make or break what is already slipping in the palm of their hands. She began to think if this is what she really wants. But then she remembers all the lives she lived and how not a single one of it feels like hers, and she felt horrible. This pain might feel like it's cutting her into pieces but the pain of living vicariously through the people she meets along the way will never be comparable. She never wanted this to happen. Really. Best believe. She never imagined a life without him on it. Every life she had lived, there was always a day she wished he had stayed.

"It was never a question of love. You know me well enough to know that I do."

He held his head in the palm of his hands and curled up in his seat. The next thing she knew, he was crying. Maybe he was hurt that she turned him down. Or maybe it was defeat and surrender. "I love you, George."

Her lips tightened. Eyes heating up. This is it. She thinks. The start of her new life. And this time, it will be hers.

_*_

will be written in english.
tw: strong language. sex. alcohol. smoking. abuse. self-harm.