Beyond Words

Turning Away. Running Away.

With that Arnav Singh Raizada pulled his aviators from his pocket and walked away, his long strides sending him further away from Khushi Kumari Gupta.

Khushi stood rooted for a moment, the sun directly in her face blinding her from everything around. The disquiet in her heart bubbled again. She turned to look back at Devi Maiyya one last time asking for strength to move forward, to banish Arnav ji from her mind.

She turned, her chappal stepping on something sharp. Bending down she saw something glinting in the evening sun. A key. Arnav ji's mannat ki chhabi. Her fingers trembled as they picked it up. She had her ishaara from Devi Maiyya.

Slowly stepping away from the temple, her heart stilled and she knew what she had to do.

Standing at the entrance to her home, her hand poised to knock at the door, she hesitated. Whispering one last prayer to Devi Maiyya she knocked. The door opened almost immediately and she stared into the face of her Buaji who was angry that she was late. Shyam ji stood by the side, anger and an unknown emotion flitting across his face. Amma seemed relieved to see her. Payal looked at her with sympathy and silent support.

She made her way past all of them not uttering a word. Her father lay silent. Tears streamed out the corners of his eyes. Buaji's shrill voice broke the silence. Sanka Devi! Where were you? Shyam ji has been waiting so we can have the roka before the muhurat is over. The words washed over her. Purposefully she closed the door shutting everybody out and knelt by her dad. She poured it all out. Her torment. Her misgivings about getting engaged to Shyam ji. Surely he understood. Even as she watched, her dad's eyes seemed to smile. His fingers grasped hers with an effort and gave a firm shake as if to approve.

She opened the door and a visibly angry Buaji and Shyam ji trooped in. Garima looked worried and Payal mute. Khushi felt nervous.

I can't do this. I just can't. Her voice was low but steady. She surprised herself by how steady it sounded. There was no hesitation. No sense of guilt.

What do you mean you can't do this? Buaji's voice thundered. Shyam ji looked ready to explode.

Looking around the room, Khushi continued, swallowing as she said the next words. I cannot get engaged to Shyam ji now. It does not feel right to me. I understand you are all concerned about my dad's health. I know dad will never want me to do something my heart does not permit me to. I do not want to rush into this. The words came tumbling out of her as if knowing that if she paused she would not be able to get it all out.

Shyam looked at her, the enormity of what she was saying dawning on him. He had to act quickly. His face contorted as if rearranging the anger into something inscrutable, he made to reach out for her hand. Khushi ji. I would not want to rush into this too but your dad...

A coughing fit sent everybody to Shashi babu's bedside. His eyes seemed to pop out and his hands jerked trying to indicate something. Khushi felt an unexplained uneasiness. Was her dad trying to tell her something? She closed her eyes and held her dad's hand in hers.