The secret untold - Misung

Chapter 10

This chapter contains a trigger warning: Self-harming.

Please do not read it if this triggers you!

Han Jisung pov~

I woke up in a different room, didn't know where I was, and didn't even remember what happened after leaving work. I just went with Minho and left Felix behind with Changbin. Wait, I LEFT FELIX WITH CHANGBIN ALONE!

I tried to get up as fast as I could, however, my vision went completely black, so I laid down again. Suddenly, I felt someone touching my arm and I flinched at that. When I looked in the direction of the move, I saw a worried Lee Know with dark circles under his eyes and his face was thinner and pale. For how long have I been sleeping?

"How are you, my love?" He asked me with the sweetest smile on his face, but I could see the pain that he had been through.

"I'm fine, I think? I just remember leaving work and then waking up. How long did I sleep?" There are so many questions inside my head right now, but for my sake, it's better if I just ignore them. Lee was looking with a concerned face and bit his lips; he looked as if he should or not say it.

"Well, to start, you slept the whole weekend and I know you work every day so don't worry because I contacted both places and they were chill about it." He then stopped talking, which made me anxious, and I didn't like it.

"Lee Know, please tell me whatever you have to say, I'm getting anxious by your silence," I said to him while grabbing his hands.

"You have to take a deep breath before listening to what I say I don't want you to fait again."

I looked at him shocked and started to freak out a little I felt my body starting to shiver and I forgot about what he said. Minho then tightened the grip on our hands, and it made me go back to reality and I started to take some deep breaths.

"After we left your work, we went to the hospital to visit your sister and you were the first to arrive at the room. There were a couple of doctors, and they simply unplugged your sister's machines."

"What...?" I slowly felt my whole world collapse while I got these flashbacks from what happened. I argued with the doctors, about the feeling of emptiness, anger, the loss of senses before fainting. I started shaking for the second time today, but now it's worse. I felt like I was out of breath and as if I was suffocating, the tears rolling down my face non-stop. That's right, I lost the last family I have for my stupidity, and I could not ask for forgiveness, not even say the way I had missed her or that I loved her, it's so hard for me to just keep going now. What have I done with my life? I'm just a murderer, a loser why am I the one that survived?

Author's pov

Without Han's notice, he started to have a panic attack and wasn't slowing down, it was getting worse with every breath he took. Minho who was seeing this scene called for his private doctor so that he could help Jisung. While he didn't arrive, Lee hugged the younger one and Han did the same. For some weird reason, Jisung felt like he was home by hugging Minho, but it wasn't enough for him to calm down.

"Han, sweetheart, I have no idea about what happened to your family or what effect it has on you, but right now I need you to breathe deep with me okay? I don't want you to faint again." Han just nodded his head and started to follow Minho's breathing.

Soon, the doctor arrived, and Han was calmer by that time. He just did a quick check-up on Jisung since he had been unconscious for a long time, and it was needed to see if everything was fine. The doctor left Han alone, and Minho went to work which made Han alone with his intrusive thoughts.

Han Jisung pov

I was lying down on the bed, just wondering why this happened to me. Why am I always suffering like this? Why am I the only one losing my whole family? I mean, it was my fault after all, If I wasn't that stubborn, they wouldn't be dead, they would be here with me. I wouldn't be abused and harmed in that work; I wouldn't even have to work at all in there. I would be happy with my family, and Chan being around it would be perfect, at some point I would meet Minho in other circumstances but of course, I had to cause an accident and lose all my loved ones.

I got up from bed, and even though the doctor said that I needed to rest, I went to the bathroom cabinets grabbed a bottle of pills, and took a couple. I needed to calm myself down, so I decided to take a bath. I started to fill up the bathtub while I went to grab clean clothes to distract myself from my thoughts.

When the bathtub was full, I got undressed and went into the tub. The warmth of the water made my whole body relax and at the same time I started to feel numb, the pills must be working now. For a moment I looked at the sink at I saw a razor, maybe I just could... I rested my head on the tub and looked up, maybe it's better not to.

But what if... They wouldn't be mad, would they? I mean, the worst that could happen is Chan almost murdering me and lecturing me. Minho would just be worried, and he would take care of me. Felix would almost die if something bad happened to me. I will not leave them, just not yet but I need to take this pain from me.

When I noticed my vision was blurry with tears, I had already reached the razor. I took it in my hands and started to play with it between my fingers, just fidgeting with it. Every time the razor passed to another finger it left a small cut, but at this point, my hand was completely red. Then I started to play with the razor on my arms, I did figures and lines in it.

I wasn't feeling any pain so I thought that nothing would happen. I put the razor back in its place and lay down in the bathtub again. I started to feel sleepy and for some reason, my vision was getting blurry, I was not understanding anything because I got high and was not feeling any pain so I'm not thinking that this was pretty bad, I just relieved my pain.

The last thing I saw was somebody at the door running towards me and saying something that I did not understand. After that, I just collapsed.

Maybe it was better this way.

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Hi everyone!!

I hope you're enjoying this story, and as I said from now on it will have a trigger warning but I will indicate it at the beginning of every chapter! 

This chapter is unrevised, so if there is any mistake please let me know and I will correct it right away.

See you in the next chapter!

Byeee~