The Next Best Thing

Chapter 1

Emma stepped out of the cab to drop Gabe off at school one last time. She kept him from running off by grabbing the straps of his backpack.

"Hold on there, kiddo. Don't I get a hug?"

It occurred to her then there was nothing quite like the reluctant, clutch-free hug of an eight-year-old to make the ovaries shrug.

"Careful, you're gonna crack my ribs," she teased. He broke free with an almost smile.

She used to be under the impression that he loved her. Now, she wasn't entirely convinced he wasn't just pretending to like her to spare her feelings. She could imagine him in his therapist's office saying something non-commital like, 'she's alright, I guess'. Well, if that's all she could be for him for now, so be it. He had bigger things to deal with than a sensitive aunt.

"I told the school Grandma Jackie was picking you up and you were skipping after care."

"It's science club," he corrected her, his eyes a little brighter than they'd been for weeks, his naturally ruddy cheeks a little pinker.

"Right. I said you'd be missing science club because your dad's going to be home and he can't wait to see you. I packed some of our celebration cake from last night in your lunch. I ran out of foil so I shoved it in your thermos."

"Are you kidding?"

"Yes, I'm kidding."

She bopped his cowlick. She'd miss that. It looked like straw sticking up from his crop-circle crown.

"You're my favourite nephew, you know."

"I'm you're only nephew."

"Exactly. And you're a terrific roommate. I hardly knew you were home."

"It was fun," he said, all of his attention on the school doors.

"Well, I loved having you with me while your Dad took the time he needed to...feel like he could be the best dad to you."

She never smiled so hard with her eyes in her life.

She was sick of championing that man, not to mention listening to his family do it. Every time she covered for him, she wanted to scream, "What kind of father abandons his only son at the worst moment of his life ?!?" She wanted to throw eggs at his excuses and darts at a picture of his 'poor me' face - but everyone grieves differently. That was the problem.

Gabe lost his whole world when his mother died. Emma lost her sister and her best friend. Jake was devastated after Sophie's accident. He didn't think he could cope. He said he needed time to pull himself together, and initially, Emma supported it. She just never imagined he'd need five months. Plus a week! And by all means, make it more inconvenient by coming home on a weekday afternoon.

It was hard not to judge, especially when she'd pictured Jake crying into his margaritas at a friend's villa in Mexico while everyone's life was turned upside down and his kid was circling visit days on his dinosaur calendar. Whenever Emma defended him, what she really wanted to do was tell Gabe that his mother never would have left him, no matter how heartbroken she was. She usually just dug her nails into her fist instead.

"I know you'll be busy hanging out together now, but remember you can call me or come by and see me whenever you want."

Gabe's upper lip wormed under his nose as he nodded. He hugged her again, this time without prodding. "Ok, bye' he said, jogging for the school doors. He didn't stop or turn around when she shouted 'Love ya!' and then he was gone.

It didn't hurt her feelings, and she wasn't exactly sad to see him go. She looked up as though her sister was the entire sky and said, "Anything for you, Soph." It brought on the instant tears of one of those flash-cries she had no control over when she was suddenly overwhelmed with missing or loving her. Then, just like that, she ducked back into the waiting cab and wondered if she'd have enough time to line-up for a latte before work. She checked the time on her phone and calmly began her customary morning scroll through her feed, wet eyelashes pushing up against sunglasses the only sign that her body had just been overridden by emotions too big for it.