Guidance, or To Help (those in need) by orionchildofhades / shwwmf

4. chronos or the art of being bad

The next few days were a blur.

Izuku tried to forget what happened and he was doing a wonderful job doing so. The sheer amount of unbelievable things that just piled on top of each other made it very easy to just imagine a really bad and strange dream. The only trace of this day was the nicely burned handprint on his shoulder, which by the way had been a pain to take care of because of the state of his clothes after... everything. And also the missing notebook.

After he woke up from his coma-like nap, Izuku had reached his backpack to check on something he had thought about, some hero whose quirk could be enhanced if he stopped using a particular method, but he almost had a panic attack when he realized he didn't have it. Then he calmed down and remembered this fateful day. And then, had a panic attack.

It had been morning, his mother had already left for work. She had been worried the previous night when she came back from a late-shift, hearing about the attack on Kacchan, which Izuku hadn't heard of until then, but had only told him she cared very much about him and would bring the ingredient to make katsudon the next day so they could relax after this worrisome situation. Izuku, far to tired to actually do so, had almost laughed and told her he might have gone through worse than Kacchan and his stupid attack because she immediately told him his childhood friend was fine and well, and his mother was just worried for nothing. Anyway, the morning after, Izuku didn't hesitate and stayed in bed. He would say he was sick if anyone asked and quite honestly he looked it. The rings under his eyes were dark, he kept flinching from any contact on his skin and his throat was sore, his voice barely a whisper.

That day, Izuku sat down on his bed. He stared at the far wall of his bedroom, a point between two precious All Might posters and spent some time thinking.

He just thought. He let his memory do the work, he recalled everything that happened yesterday. The telling off by his hero, the kidnapping, the weirdly supporting speech from the ugly super villain.

And then he buried it all very deep, never to be remembered.

All he did was take off the posters that covered his walls and nicely roll them before hiding them under his bed. He put his All Might figures in their boxes. He might have been heart-broken but he could sell all of this. Making money on his heart break, at least the whole ordeal wasn't completely useless. Watch this All Might, Izuku couldn't be a hero but at least... he could sell his poster and have some pocket money... He cried after that for half an hour realizing once again that his dream was impossible.

After that, Izuku tried to ignore it all. He pulled himself together, dried his cheek, putting a bright smile on his face because 'fake it 'till you make it' worked for serotonin or whatever; He cleaned his room, pushed his fanboy stuff as far as he could under his bed. Out of sight out of mind. Hopefully. He sat at his desk and began a new notebook. He named it '13 bis', forgetting to put the Hero Analysis usual title (he did not actually forget, sadly, but he wanted to think he did, that he'd put the whole thing behind him already). He ignored all of his problems and focused on recreating the lost item.

Who cared if he didn't have a dream anymore? Who cared if he didn't have a hero anymore? Who cared if he slightly felt like crying still but wasn't quite sure whether or not he could?

(The answer was absolutely no one, he knew that.)

(Or perhaps the faceless man did, after all he said...)

His mother had come home, hugged him tight and told him to rest the next day too if he was sick, that she would call the school and excuse him. It must be a terrible cold by the sound of his voice. She held onto him, crying and telling him she was glad he was okay and that it had been a good thing Kacchan was attacked and not him because, after all, Kacchan was a strong boy and what would have Izuku done.