GOODBYE HELLO 'Lost & Found Sequel' (a ChanBaek/BaekYeol novella)

CHAPTER 3 (Baekhyun)

"Cruise...ship?" My hands begin to tremble. "A cruise ship?"
The scene before me dissolves. I stand, in solitude and darkness. A memory starts to crawl its way to me. The memory I tried burying in the past comes to hunt me. The horrible dream from two years ago. The dream that almost killed me.
Why am I remembering this now? I close my eyes, frightened. My heart beats unsteadily. I have trouble breathing. I dare to open my eyes. It gets worse. I gasp at the scene before me. A dream more dreadful than the former. The dream from two nights ago. The dream I forced myself to forget. The dream I thought I have forgotten. That dream plays mercilessly before me.
I watch helplessly as Chanyeol falls to the water, his head bleeding. The scene replays in my head a hundred times. I am about to lose my mind. My heart tries to keep up with me.
I blink. I find myself standing in front of the sink again, utterly shaken. My eyes follow a drop of water as it falls. I watch it turn red as it hits the sink. Blood.
"Baekhyun!"
I blink again. I now find myself face to face with Chanyeol. His hands are gripping my shoulders, shaking me. I just stare at his face. He's here with me. He's safe. He’s not in the cruise ship. He didn't fall. Chanyeol's here with me.
"Baekhyun," Chanyeol says in a calmer tone. "Will you please let go of the knife?"
My brain starts functioning again. I glance down at my right hand. I find it clenched tightly around the blade of a butter knife. I gasp. Chanyeol releases my shoulders and gently pries my hand open. The knife clatters to the floor. It left scratches on my palm. It doesn't seem deep, but my hand bleeds in a steady flow. I watch it unresponsively, not feeling any pain.
"Baekhyun, talk," Chanyeol whispers, securing my face in his hands. His eyes are filled with worry. "What’s going on with you? Please talk, before I go mad."
I find my voice. "Chanyeol, my hand."
He sighs. He lifts me in his arms. I don't protest. I feel too shaken, my legs seeming too numb to cooperate. Chanyeol sees this. He heads to the living room, grabbing the first aid kit along the way.
He sets me down on one of the couches. He presses his lips against my forehead, calming me down. I take shaky breaths as he tends to my wound. I wait for him to finish before speaking.
"I'm sorry, Chanyeol," I tell him, gazing down, a little embarrassed. "I...freaked out."
"You're not telling me something," he says, speaking each word clearly. He did notice that, didn’t he? He knows me too well.
"I feel like I'm lying to you," I whisper, still looking down, feeling guilty all of a sudden.
Chanyeol strokes my head gently. "No. I don't think of it that way."
I finally look up at him and stare straight into his eyes. I smile a little. Chanyeol has always been understanding.
"It's something I don't want to talk about." I pause, collecting my thoughts. "This may sound cliché, but I don't know where to start."
"Why don't you start at the beginning?" Chanyeol offers.
I fear I might have another panic attack, but I feel strangely calm, tired it seems. Chanyeol waits patiently for me to continue.
"It's something I would rather hide from you, believing it would probably sound ridiculous to you. I wanted to forget. I forced myself to forget. I wanted to believe it had nothing to do with the accident. I wanted to believe it was just a nightmare, not some kind of clairvoyance. I wanted to believe it wasn't destined to happen. It was a twisted fate."
I draw in a breath. Words have flowed endlessly. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I realize I've been keeping a lot of things to myself. I realize I've been wanting to free them. But I was too afraid. I was afraid to relive them. I was afraid to show weakness. I was afraid to face my weakness.
"Accident? Dream?" Chanyeol asks, frowning. "I fail to understand. Enlighten me, please."
I swallow nervously. Here I sit, about to tell Chanyeol everything. I tighten my hold on him, ignoring my throbbing hand. I welcome the pain at the moment.
"Two years ago, the night before you took me to the rest house, I had a dream. I dreamt about the accident, or should I say, I had a precognition."
"You saw what would happen that day?" Chanyeol asks, still frowning.
"I don't think it was a glimpse of the future. It was a warning...or so it seems. I’m still confused. It's...unfathomable." I shake my head. I'm giving it too much thought. "The dream felt too real. It was too detailed, too vivid. I was alone, you weren't with me. I was alone in a deadly nightmare. I was so scared."
My voice fades into a whisper. Chanyeol pulls me into his arms. I cling to him, suddenly feeling too cold.
"Shh, you're not alone. I'm here," he whispers against my hair. I nod weakly.
"I thought I was forever trapped in that hellish realm, but you saved me, you'd woken me up," I tell him. "But I saw the dream a second time, on our way to the rest house..."
"I remember," he says, stroking my arm soothingly.
"I was too distracted the entire day I'd forgotten about it for a moment. Until I found myself driving down a familiar road. It was, without a doubt, different from the dream, but somehow, it felt the same. I refused to believe any of it because you were with me. I thought about turning the car around, to head back to the freeway, but something kept me from doing that, like I was forced not to. I know I did nothing wrong. I was careful enough to stop and check the streets, but the accident happened anyway."
I pause, locking my arms around Chanyeol.
"People do have choices, but some things are just inevitable. They happen for specific reasons, reasons that are sometimes far too complex for humans to understand. But I came to know this: no matter how frightening a dream can be, reality will always be more frightening."
I fall silent. I wait for Chanyeol to speak instead. I'm sure he has a lot of questions. But what he says next surprises me.
"Let me guess, you had a dream about me on a cruise ship," he whispers. "Two nights ago, in the rest house, you shouted my name...you were crying after..."
He has solved the puzzle. I nod and let out a breath. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
"Baek?"
Chanyeol pulls away slightly, glancing at me. I realize I am trembling, again. I try to compose myself, pressing my head against Chanyeol's chest, listening to his heartbeat. I muster the courage to continue.
"It was snowing. I found you standing on the deck, before the railings. There was turbulence. Your head hit the railings and I watched you...fall to the water. I...I–"
I twist in Chanyeol's arms, burying my face in his shoulder.
"I know it's not right, but I don't want you to go," I sob. "I can't let you go."
"Baekhyun, I have to go." He pauses, sighing. He holds me at arms’ length, staring straight into my eyes. "Look, I won't ignore what you have just told me. I don't find it ridiculous at all. To be honest, I find it frightening. I can fairly imagine what you'd been through."
"Is there any other way I can stop you from going?" I ask, desperate. Tears flow down my face. Chanyeol brushes them away with his thumbs.
He shakes his head. "I’ll take the matter seriously. I'll be careful. I won't have any objection if you want to come with me, but you’ve mentioned a board meeting in Busan that you can't fail to attend either. Even if you do have a chance to come with me, I doubt you will have fun waiting for our meeting to finish."
I bite my lip. He has a point, and I do hate waiting. But if I am to wait for Chanyeol, I don't see it as a problem. I would just have to call him if I could take it no more. I exhale loudly. I just can't ditch the board meeting. As a new appointed director, I have to be there. I curse inwardly. I find myself in a difficult situation. I have to make a choice. One mistake and I would lose...no. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen.
Chanyeol slips his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Baekhyun, I will be alright. Stop worrying too much. It's not healthy."
I nod, reaching up to touch his face. "I love you, so promise me you'll take care of yourself."
Chanyeol leans in and gives me a kiss. "I promise, my Baek."
****
I sit behind my office desk, debating. I was on my way to the airport when Secretary Lee called and told me the board meeting has been cancelled. The Singaporean representatives couldn't take their flight due to a typhoon.
My hand hovers above the laptop. The Quantum of the Seas leaves at 6PM. Tickets are still on sale. I have at least an hour to decide. I’ve called Chanyeol a dozen times, but every call was directed to voice mail. I don't have the faintest idea of his whereabouts at the moment either.
I bite my lip, drumming my fingers on my desk. I straighten up and start pacing back and forth, thinking. Chanyeol had said so himself he's fine with me joining him in the cruise. I see nothing wrong with the idea of me being in the cruise either.
I pause as a thought crosses my mind. The nightmare in the cruise ship plays before me again. I clench my teeth. What if the reason Chanyeol fell from the ship, the reason why there was turbulence in the first place, is because I was there? I was there.
I flinch. That’s not enough reason. But, what if the reason it all happened is because I wasn't really there? I wasn't there...to save him. It makes sense. It's a warning. A warning.
I have a choice. I won't make the same mistake again. I have a choice. I won't fail again. It doesn't matter if it was a dream or a precognition. I always have a choice. I won't let anything happen to Chanyeol.
My mind is set. I turn back to my laptop, take a deep breath and press enter. "I hope I made the right choice."
****
After asking a crew from the lobby deck and making sure Chanyeol is on board, I found out the meeting is being held in one of the staterooms on deck 6. I wait patiently in the main hall, sitting on one of the leather chairs near the Two70˚ lounge. It's my second time cruising on the Quantum of the Seas. I pay no attention towards the various activities taking place on different decks of the ship. I focus on what I have to do.
I stare at my phone, biting my nails, debating whether to call Chanyeol, again. I sigh, exasperated, running a hand through my hair. I still couldn’t reach him when I tried to just before the ship left the dock. Why won't he answer my calls?
"I might disturb the meeting though," I whisper to myself, resting my head against the chair.
I stare at the chandeliers, at the floor-to-ceiling HD TV screens displaying live views from the outside. The atmosphere feels nice. I sink deeper into my seat. I find myself slipping from reality...
The cold wakes me up. I look around, startled. I glance at my watch groggily. I straighten up, cursing. I've slept for more than an hour! I grit my teeth. I have ten bloody minutes before the clock strikes 8. I begin to panic.
"Calm down, Park Baekhyun," I order myself, reaching for my phone. "Park Chanyeol, please, answer your phone."
I speed dial Chanyeol. I start to bite my nails, nervous, as I wait for him to pick up his phone. He answers on the second ring.
"Baekhyun."
I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God! I started to think you're avoiding my calls. I'm worried sick.”
"I am really, really sorry," he tells me. "My phone was malfunctioning. I couldn't make calls and even send messages. I didn't have the chance to have someone fix it until just a moment ago. I was about to call you when you beat me to it."
"Where are you?" I ask instead as soon as he finishes talking. It doesn't matter now why he couldn't answer his phone. I need to find him, quick. "Don't put down the phone until I tell you so."
A second of silence passes.
"You followed me," he says, sounding amused. "I'm on deck 14."
I waste no time and run to the elevators.
"You're not mad?" I ask, stepping inside. I press the button for deck 14 impatiently.
"Why would I be mad? Because you followed me?" He pauses. "Baekhyun, calm down. I'm alright."
I clench my fist. I am about to find out whether both dreams, the recent one and the one from two years ago, were just nightmares, or both dreams were some kind of precognitions. I can't help it, but hope it's the former. I can't also hide the fact that I want answers to my questions.
I hear the ping of the elevator and rush outside, scanning the deck.
"I see you," Chanyeol tells me. "Turn left."
I do as he says and find him standing before the railings. Chanyeol smiles warmly, waving at me. I freeze for a second, not from his smile, but from the sudden terror. I run to him. It's a warning. A warning. I hear the clock ticking in my head. My heart pounds heavily in my chest. Chanyeol calls my name, his eyes widening.
I grab his arm and yank him from the railings just as the turbulence hits the ship violently. Chanyeol's arm slips from my grasp as he loses his balance and lands on fours on the deck. I end up holding on to the railings for support.
"Stay down!" I hiss at Chanyeol as he struggles to stand up.
I hurriedly move towards him before the second turbulence hits the ship, but I miscalculated. The force is strong enough to tip the ship sideways, metal and wood groaning. I lose my footing and slam back towards the railings, my left arm absorbing the impact, the arm I broke two years ago. I hear a sickening snap. I gasp in pain, feeling a wave of nausea. I find my body slipping over the edge. Chanyeol yells my name. I reach out blindly and catch the railings with my broken arm. My arm screams in protest from the sudden tension. I bite my lip. I feel as though my arm is being ripped to shreds. I taste blood.
"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol shouts. "Hang on!"
"Help!" I gasp. The pain is too intense, clouding my vision. It's only a matter of time before I–
My hand slips. No! Gravity pulls me down.
"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol screams. I feel his fingers brush mine, a second too late.
I hold my breath, gripping my broken arm tightly as I plunge into the water. The temperature shocks my body. I am not going to die. I am not going to die. Calm down, Baekhyun. Calm down, Baekhyun. I know how to swim. I know how to swim. I am not going to drown. I am not going to drown. I hear a familiar voice calling my name. Chanyeol. Chanyeol is safe. I saved him.

End of Chapter 3