Alternate Universe

(Nikolais pov)Bsd season 5 ep 11

⚠️Bungo stray dogs Season 5 Episode 11 spoilers⚠️

Nikolai held Fyodor's hand to his face as Dazai walked away. He was so confused. This is what he wanted right? He should be free from his emotions now right? He realized too late that he didn't actually want to kill his friend. Now he's back to no one understanding him. He knew he fucked up. His only friend, the only person who truly understood him, is gone forever.

Nikolai started walking around aimlessly while still holding Fyodor's arm. He's so lost in thought. Killing Fyodor didn't solve his problems. In fact it made them worse. Now he has no one. He's alone again.

He found himself at a cliff after walking for an hour or two. He sits on the edge of the cliff and looks over Yokohama. He holds Fyodor's bandged, bloody hand to his face again. Trying to find a little comfort. He regrets ever wanting to kill Fyodor. What will he ever do without Fyodor? He feels so confused, so lost, sad, and angry. He doesn't know what to do anymore. Tears threaten to fall any moment now.

"Nikolai.."

Nikolai heard a familiar voice call his name. He turns around to see Fyodor and Sigma. Fyodor is missing an arm and has more casual clothes on instead of the bloody white prison ones.

Nikolai can't believe it. He hesitates for a moment before running up to Fyodor. He stops in front of Fyodor. He wants to hug him but doesn't want to hurt him.

Fyodor seemed to figured this and said softly, "You may."

At that Nikolai instantly wrapped his arms around Fyodor. Hiding his face in Fyodor's shoulder as tears fall down his cheeks. Nikolai whispered under his breath, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Fyodor whispered back. He hugged Nikolai with his one arm. "I see you kept my arm," Fyodor said, trying to lighten the mood a tad bit. He smiled softly. Happy that he got to see Nikolai again.

"It felt like my only source of comfort," Nikolai said. Still holding onto Fyodor's detached, bloodied arm.

"Well I'm here, now. Everything is alright now," Fyodor said in a comforting tone. Trying to give Nikolai comfort.

"I'm so sorry," Nikolai whispered, still hugging Fyodor tightly.

"What for?" Fyodor asked, a bit confused.

"For ever wanting to kill you." Nikolai said. He cried a bit more, feeling guilty for ever wanting to kill Fyodor.

"It's ok. You just wanted freedom. You were doing whatever you could for your freedom," Fyodor said calmly. He understood Nikolai. He was the only one who did.

Nikolai calmed down a bit. Still hugging Fyodor. "I didn't get my freedom when I thought you died. I was confused and sad. Why didn't it work?" Nikolai asked, still very confused.

"Because, you're human. You'll always feel emotions. No matter what, you'll always have them." Fyodor explained. Still hugging Nikolai with his one arm.

"Will I ever be free?" Nikolai asked. Feeling disappointment. Believing he'll never be free.

"You will eventually. Trust me." Fyodor exclaimed. Rubbing Nikolai's back to try to comfort him more.

"Dos-kun, how did you survive? I thought you died in the helicopter crash." Nikolai looked at Fyodor confused.

"Well, shortly after you left, Sigma came out. I've convinced him to save me. I couldn't bear how sad you looked when you thought I died. He helped bandage me so I wouldn't die during this moment." Fyodor explained.

"Ah, that makes sense." Nikolai thought for a moment then asked, "How did you manage to convince him? He didn't seem to like you all that much."

"I'll explain another day," As Fyodor spoke Sigma started to walk away. "Let's go home now."

"Alright," Nikolai used his over coat and teleported him and Fyodor home.

Luckily for most, this seems to be a happy ending.