The Sky Beasts

Gwar Members

Blothar

Balsac the Jaws of Death

Jizmak Da Gusha

Beefcake the Mighty

Pustulus Maximus

Blothar stood up and said "we are Gwar and we are fucking heavy as can be."

They play Bring Back the Bomb.

After they played Bring Back the Fucking Bomb they decided they were bored. They decided they wanted to see blood splatter. So Blothar gave instructions to bring out the science equipment. Blothar went on to say "bats and their DNA combined with other animals could make wonderful killer beasts."

The other members of GWAR laughed loud and evil. Then they put down their instruments and got to work. It took no more than 30 minutes to assemble a bat/tiger beast. They named it The Blood Bird.

Jizmak yelled "let's have Gor Gor take us where there are humans and then we'll unleash the blood bird."

So Gor Gor took them into a town in Oregon.

They land in a neighborhood where they see two women and a little girl.

All three ladies turn and observe their horrible tormentors. The little girl see the bat/tiger and she runs out in the street. A bus runs her over.

Her mother and grandmother screamed. Her grandma yelled "that fucking beast scared my granddaughter and caused her to run out in the street and get hit by a bus."

The girl's mother yelled "let's collect on her life insurance policy."

Gwar started playing their instruments and Jizmak yelled "guess what bitches nobody will believe a bat/tiger exists so it looked like a suicide. Insurance won't pay if it's ruled a suicide."

The two ladies were very pissed off and began throwing drinks at GWAR. They were cussing big time.

Gwar just laughed then they killed the two bitches.

Next they came across an old lady sitting on a park bench. The old lady turned to see GWAR.

She said "holy shit you're that awful band Gwar. The kind of music you make should be outlawed."

Beefcake the Mighty said "we have a bat/hawk that we created through DNA. You'll be taken care of you pro-censorship bitch."

They unleash the beast and its claws sink into the old ladies head. She screams and blood is dripping quickly. Then the beast flies away with her. The band laughs their asses off.

The next day the band traveled down several roads with Gor Gor stopped in front of an elementary school. All of them find the doors to be locked. Although it was no big deal because Gor Gor destroyed two front doors and they entered.

They saw a teacher screaming at a first grader.

The teacher screamed "I don't care if Billy hit you first."

The child yelled "Billy bullies me."

The teacher yelled "I don't care and you don't interrupt me."

"I am Balsac The Jaws Of Death and I hate it when teachers bully children!"

Gor Gor chewed up the teacher and spit her guts out all over the floor.

In honor of Gor Gor taking a stand against tyranny Gwar played Aces High inside the school hall way. All the kids went wild and the teachers didn't know what the fuck to think.

THE END