꧁𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠?꧂ (Sanses Au X female reader)

Chapter : 4

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Whoever thought an idea of taking a long walk towards a city that is literally kilometres away MEANWHILE getting past through wildness and woods would be easy.. is a dumbass .
And that's you

Your dumbass brain didn't even think further about your journey when you started . But that's yourself , your decisions and your own problems too. So ..there's nothing to complaint.

And there you are standing alone at the side of the road , right just outside the forest. You were panting in either tiredness or distress..
You let your body limp half backwards as your head faced upwards , Your arms went limp by your side. And you're standing with a zigzag knee position.
You're wierd for sure.
As you were trying to catch your breath in... uncomfortable standing posture....
You got a lot of strange looks on people that passed by . Even from cars.
You're like an creepy moving doll like that.
But you didn't care since they all are digital charathers and they were programmed. Right?
They're not alive anyway. Everyone dies in every corner.
If someone had the power to read your mind ,that person probably thinks that you're a delusional bastard. Thinking that you're the only one that is 'alive' . But if they do so , they dont even know what you meant between 'alive' and 'not alive'
People might thought 'not alive' means dead by their understanding. But since you're here you view 'not alive' as an object. Something . A creature.
As you were thinking long enough. Your brain gets back itself again. You're acting like a robot bruh. Like brain loading.

(I'm sorry but all bad stuff on the narrations didn't meant seriously . This is actually narrated by 'using' Y/N's mind view of how she view herself. Cause she got a personality that I gave.
It's just how Y/N describes everything )

You fell forwards and almost ends up hitting the ground and other's people shoes while they are passing . Some of them flinch in surprise, gasps and the look of annoyance , confusion and concern about your well being.
Funny that they can feel pity for you.
You can do this by yourself .
Which makes your heart sinks down deeper to despair , just imagining what those 'characters' are thinking about you right now.
You're probably pathetic and poor child.

You couldn't stop your sudden emotions crushing down to you. All of your thinkings on your head are slowly turning into negative throughts.
You blinked a few times , fast. Just to avoid the tears that were forming on the corners of your eyes. You're about to have a break down all of the sudden .
.
.
'But hey! You cried and feeling sad today but surely other days will be neutral or even happier than before you are! Just wait until next day and next .. day!.
Crying makes you look miserable , disappointing and weak.
If you do this right now , you will get someone waste their time checked on you'

That one thought always on your mind when your emotions were bottling up.
You always saved this thought when you're about to have mental break down. And you just let the thought repeat in every single time when you're about to cry.
Which successfully made you forget your own previous emotions and somehow motivates yourself.
If someone said "those thought had the same level meaning of negativity, why that calms you so much???"
Well.. you're a thinker. You like to think before action.
And you just said 'it reminds me of something and the thought are also questions to me.
Why do you have to cry this day when you can be happier other days?
That's okay if you cried this day , atleast other days will be sunny.
It also gave you a reason.
It's giving off the vibe of yourself getting weakened due to your uncontrollable emotions
And so....
Yeah sure why not?

You just wiped away the tears as if nothing happens , you took a look of the city. There are a few skyscrapers and short buildings.
Shops below apartments..
Restaurant and everything! Not exactly but everything that most cities had.
Then you realized ... you are fucked while walking like this.
Your clothes are scratched by thorns and branches.
You ran at the forest and you get caught up things a lot .
Your pants are also dirty.. your... feet. It's muddy.
Disgusting of yourself getting dirty , you wondered where to find clothes. Oh wait..
YOU HAVE NO MONEY.
You are fucked.
But first let's focus on where cleaning your dirty feet's so... uhh the dirt won't stay at your toenails? It's uncomfortable walking with dirt that gives off heavy feeling in a form of liquid.
You need to clean your self image a bit.