how romantic

Part 10

Alternate worlds connected by the smallest tether. Thematically, it made some sense to him but internally it was all a load of nonsense.

There was definitely some god somewhere who was laughing his stupid head off over this all charade.

Hm. This is definitely a dream.

Kim Roksu couldn't say exactly how he knew but despite the familiarity of Naru's tiny room in the village, he was certain that he wasn't back in that world. Although it made some sense that it had to be a dream because when he sat up, it became instantly apparent that he was still Kim Roksu and when he looked over to the desk Naru Von Ellejan was sitting there as calm as anything.

"You're awake." She said, placing down her diary flippantly.

"...probably not." Roksu said roughly, massaging the headache out of his temples. "This is a dream, right?"

Naru shrugged. "Probably? I think I'm in a coma. But I'm sure that I'm finally meeting Kim Roksu for the first time."

Worry managed to trickle into Roksu's stress. "...will you be okay?"

Naru gave him a flat look. "It's not that big of a deal. You worry too much."

There was something eerie about the conversation that Roksu couldn't quite label and it wasn't until she said those words that it clicked. He could remember saying those exact words to Choi Jungsu the last time he'd been hospitalized. It really wasn't that big of a deal and Jungsu did worry too much but it clicked for him.

"Sometimes I think we're really similar."

"I am your 'self insert character'." Naru really did manage to pile the words with quite a bit of sarcasm. Roksu winced. He was aware of it already, but it was probably unpleasant for Naru to live immobile in her own body while listening to some stranger go on and on about 'self insert character' and 'the story I wrote' when referring to her very real life experiences.

He owed her a thorough apology but he somehow didn't really have the strength.

"Did you talk to Choi Han?"

Roksu frowned. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you're being an idiot." Naru said. "You're not acknowledging the obvious."

Naru really didn't pull her punches, did she?

Wasn't he supposed to be apologizing to her if he ever got the opportunity to talk to her? Instead she was controlling the conversation and he was still just confused and tired.

"I don't want an apology." Naru clipped, as though she could read his thoughts. Perhaps she still could. "But it's embarrassing to watch a version of myself act so foolishly."

"We're not..."

Naru rolled her eyes. "Wouldn't I be in a better position to judge that than you? Really. You act like sharing an identity with me is such a curse. Is it that hard to acknowledge that your feelings might not be unrequited?"

Merciless and vicious. She was definitely Duke Fredo's daughter. Roksu allowed her words to sink in.

Perhaps if he was a slightly older and wiser version of Kim Roksu he wouldn't have made a big deal about all of this. But Kim Roksu in his twenties was still insecure in accepting love and struggling with a difficult past. It was easier to think about Naru's tragic backstory than his own. He didn't have anything interesting to say.

Orphaned at a young age, abusive uncle, ran away, orphanage, survived by working himself to the bone. It wasn't even an uncommon story.

But Choi Jungsu had been Kim Roksu's first real friend. The first person who confidently invaded his life and made the lonely emptiness fade until it was manageable. To a point where Roksu wasn't confident in his ability to return to being alone.