Miss carter *Eastenders*

Jokes and Struggles

Grace knew how her drinking had been out of control. But she had been keeping it secret. She knew that she was struggling with all that had happened.

Things were hard. She knew how her sister had been hard. She had been raped by Dean and she had kept it from everyone. Only Grace knew.

She knew how she had struggled with what had happened. And she felt like she needed to open up. But she couldn't. She couldn't tell anyone what had happened.

She felt as though it was all getting too much. And she didn't know what to do. She had no one she could open up to.

She felt like drinking numbed the pain of it all. And she had to do something. Or she risked breaking completely. And that was the last thing she wanted.

Mick and Linda had barely even noticed their stock was going down. They just assumed it was Shirley. They had no idea it was in fact their youngest child. Who was hiding a dark secret.

All she knew was that her life had been slowly unraveling around her. And she didn't know what else to do.

Morning came all too quickly. Grace sat up so she was sitting in bed. The door opened and Addie walked in.

Grace looked to her. She could tell she hasn't slept. "You need to talk to someone Addie. You're doing to make yourself so unwell," she said.

Addie shook her head. "I'm more concerned about you. You were almost attacked by him. I think you need to come clean. I know it's not Nan who's been at the vodka. It's you. I'm not dumb," she told her.

Grace sighed. "I've had a couple of drinks. Nothing too heavy though. I'm not an alcoholic. I just... I'm a teenager. It's to be expected," she said.

Addie sat on the bed next to her. She sighed. "Look. I was the same. You can't do that though. Drinking. It's not... it's not worth it. You can risk yourself becoming so unwell. And you're the only reason I stuck around."

Grace sighed. She knew how things had been. And she didn't want to risk losing her sister. She just felt as though things were getting too much for her.

She knew that as much as she wanted to stop, she couldn't. She felt as though it was her calming mechanism.

Addie took her hand. "Promise me that you'll try and stop. Cause I don't think I can cope if I lose you."

"I promise. I'll try."

But Grace knew it was going to be so hard for her to quit.

***
Grace had skived school again. She wasn't dealing with the bitchy comments. It was one thing she didn't want.

She was sitting in the square as Gray walked over to her. He smiled. "Beginning to become a little habit this?"

Grace smiled and nodded. "I know. I just don't like the school bitches. I'm not in the mood for them," she said.

Gray nodded. He looked to her. "Well you need to be careful. You'll miss out on your exams. And then who knows what you'll do," he joked.

Grace smirked. "I'll become a pimp. I'm sure someone will let me pimp them out," she said as she winked. She sighed. "My humour isn't even funny."

Gray looked to her and smiled. "I think you're funny."

"Well thanks."

***
Grace walked back into the pub. She saw Dean there and fear washed over her. She quickly walked upstairs. She didn't know what to think.

She sat on the stairs and started shaking. But she had no idea how she was going to remain strong. Especially as she felt as though it was getting too much.