Listen Before I Go

Prologue

As the music began to play, I listened to every lyric being poured into the song.

The emotions put into the song itself is what makes it an amazing masterpiece.

I stare at the blood gushing through my wrist but I couldn't be bothered by it as I knew I deserved it.

As I swallow the last remaining pill in the bottle an immense feeling of drowsiness begins to seep in.

The feeling of utter numbness courses through my body as I fall onto the bathroom floor.

My vision begins to blur as I stare at the horrible damage I had done to myself.

Yet no regret, guilt or fear is felt during all of this.

Only immense pain and sadness can be heard through my slowly beating heart.

Every breath I take leads to a sharp pain that fills my chest and leads me quicker to my end.

I can't help but think about how everyone's life will be far better once this is over.

Yet it still sadness me how I could not confess my love to the one who truly made life seem meaningful.

It's best this way.

He won't have to deal with my irregular self. He deserves someone better.

It's funny how I'm spending my last moments thinking about him.

It's pathetic how I could even imagine ever being loved by someone.

I could feel my heartbeat slowly decreasing.

It pained me.

This world pained me.

So I had to leave it.

For the sake of my friends who deserve a better friend then I ever was.

For the sake of my parents who should have been gifted with a better son.

For the sake of my doctors who deserve a patient willing to seek help.

And for the sake of him not ever having to fall in love with a freak like me.

My eyes slowly began to flutter shut as the last lyric of the song had come to an end.

Maybe in another life I could be a better person.

And maybe in another life I could tell you how i truly felt about you...

How much I truly loved you.

a.n:

This story will contain mentions of:
- Sh
- Suicidal thoughts/Suicidal attempts
- Drug overdose
- Physical abuse
- Emotional/ triggering words(Idk whether to call it emotional abuse cause I could be wrong to refer it as emotional abuse)

It's gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions:/

Also this book was not created to romanticize mental health or the struggles of mental health, explanation for the book and input of the book will put in after the last chapter is updated.

I don't own Straykids and certainly don't know if they struggle with any mental illness so please don't assume I'm writing based on that but actually writing from personal experience.

If your not comfortable with the topics that will be in the book please don't force yourself to read it and please don't start hating on me, I'm extremely soft hearted and don't intend on hurting or triggering anyone.

Remember this is a fanfiction.

But enough of my rambling (I know I talk/type alot) please take good care of yourself and enjoy your journey while reading my book^^

My DMS/whatever y'all call chat on this app is opened to anyone who wants to vent or just talk.

Remember you are special, unique and loved<3

See you in the first chapter which will be released in the new year approaching us<3

Bubs out!
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