✅ My little idiot [ Taekook Oneshot ]

My little idiot

NO ONE POV

"That ugly piece of pumpkin, how dare he? Nasty dehydrated meatball, disgusting cheese ball, I fucking hate him. I swear to god I'll kill that horse like alligator in the not-so-distant future." Jungkook banged his fist on the table.

"What did he do this time?" Yoongi asked, very excited about the new tea.

"That mother fucking female-like male dog had spread a rumour about me. Now the whole school thinks that I'm ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnn- fuck that asshole." Jungkook pulled his own hair and banged his head on the table.

"You're what?" Yoongi was more excited.

"I'm-

"Jungkook hyung, we bought pickles for you." A very cheerful soobin came towards the duo with a big bottle of prickles.

"Eh?"

"And I bought a healthy salad, I hope you like it." Yeonjun took a lunch box out of his bag pack.

"What the hell?"

"I know I know, it's kind of gross but it's homemade. It's very good for your health. My mom said she used to eat this salad every day when she was pregnant with me." Yeonjun gave the salad to jungkook.

Yoongi could literally see smoke coming out of jungkook's nose and ears. He was red like a tomato. A very angry tomato.

"I AM NOT PREGNANT YOU TWO LITTLE BUTTHOLES!!!"

The two boys jumped back when jungkook shouted at them. Yoongi was not bothered at all, he just ate his burger and enjoyed the drama. He was too used to jungkook's outbursts.

"Oops, hehe you're right you're right." Soobin said nervously to jungkook and leaned into Yeonjun's ear.

"I think it's the pregnant hormones. Mood swings are no joke." He whispered to Yeonjun while smiling awkwardly at jungkook.

"Yeah, I heard that male pregnancy is more scary than female ones. Owww our poor jungkookie hyung. Must be hard for him." Yeonjun whispered back.

"I. SAID. I'M. NOT. FREAKING. PREGNANT. I HAVE NEVER TAKEN ANY STICK UP IN MY BUBBLY ASS YOU TWO DUCKLINGS."

"Wow, I think he's horny. Pregnancy hormones, pregnancy hormones."

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I MAKE YOU TWO PREGNANT BY SHOWING THIS SALAD UP YOUR LITTLE BUTTS SO THAT YOU CAN GIVE BIRTH TO SALAD BABIES!!!

"AND LEAVE THE PICKLES!!!" Jungkook shouted from the top of his lungs.

And it was the cue for Yeonjun and Soobin to run for their lives. Because Jungkook was someone who would actually do the crazy things that he say.

"Care to tell me about this whole new drama series."

"Didn't you check Instagram today?"

Yoongi didn't wait a second to take his phone out and open Instagram. He choked on his own tongue when he saw the newest post of Kim Taehyung.