By The Grace Of An Angel

Chapter five: I Have Faith In Her

(Spencer's POV)
It's been a weeks since I've been released to from the hospital.Everyone has been ignoring me. It's weird because even the girls aren't tormenting me anymore, all they do is give me a look of disgust. I think they're doing this because they all found out what i did to Katy and that I have to visit her twice a week. I still feel so guilty, I cry myself to sleep every night since the incident. I never cry.
The doctor suggested to me to write a diary,he said it could really help and give me some great memories to look back on.

I really hope that what I'm doing is going to help Katy get better because I could never live with myself if something worse were to happen to her, I mean what I've done is bad enough.

I chucked on my Nirvana shirt and grab my iPod and headphones. I put my hair up in a messy bun since I can't do anything else with my hair.

"You ready Spence?" my social worker, Mandy says to me. I cringe at her nickname for me.
"Don't call me Spence" I say annoyed. I put my headphones on and get into the car and blast my music. it's Saturday so I'm going to see Katy at the hospital today. I see her twice a week on, Wednesday and Saturday. In the week I see for half an hour and on the weekend I see her for an hour. I don't mind the amount of time I spend of my day, I just want her to get better. God I'm finding myself starting to become soppy, who would have thought me, Spencer Maynard soppy. It's unheard of. The car journey is short to the hospital, we get out of the car and head to the entrance. I take my headphones as soon as we reach the front desk.

"What can I help you with?" the lady at the desk asks us.
"We are here to see Katy Hudson"
"Oh yes here is her room and number.The lady says as she hands us an envelope that has confidential on the front of it in bold red letters.

"Thank you very much!" I say as I grab the letter eagerly from Mandy and open it up.
"Room 4234 Ward PX" I read to myself quietly as I get into a lift with a woman with a small baby girl. I feel a pain pierce my heart as I see the mother of the baby kiss her daughters head and see the love in her eyes. I rather envy it.

"Spence hurry up!" I roll my eyes at the nickname. Mandy comes running into the lift, huffing and puffing.
"I think you need to exercise more..." I state rudely. I can't wait to get away from her honestly.

I see that Mandy just wants to snap me in half but as usual, she does that deep breathing while closing her eyes and gives me a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Let's just get you to Katy.." She says as she walks out of the elevator in her annoyingly gracious walk in her unbearably high heels. I just walk out in my battered grubby converses that everyone's insists that I should get them replaced but I won't have it. I believe that you should use everything we've got until its beyond no longer being useful. Otherwise we're wasting and I hate that.

"Ahh Miss Maynard finally! We've been expecting you!" I hear the doctor say as I see a young man with a lab coat with a clipboard wearing a big smile.

"From my notes I can see that you're supposed to be visiting Miss Hudson twice a week for a half an hour or a hour, is that correct?" He has a British accent that I can tell that Mandy was into him, the thought makes me want to puke.

"So these visits are basically an experiment of some sorts because causes like Miss Hudson's are intriguing because we're not quite sure what's triggered her to be like this and any other person who had tried to communicate with her has failed except you. You seem to be the only person that makes her react emotionally and physically. We find this so intriguing because we have reason to believe you were part of the reason she's in this state so why you? What connection so you have with her? That's why we're going to be observing you and her through monitors but I have to ask permission to be able to listen your convocation with her so I can write up some sort of conclusion by the end of it all."

"Yes sure I don't care" the truth is I really do care but if this is going to help her and other patiences I shouldn't be allowed to act selfish.

"You know, you're very brave for doing this and I'm sorry if I came across as insensitive" he said apologetically as he gave a smile. I gave him a quick smile then walked into the room were Katy was lying, because of me.
The sound of the beeping machine kept ringing in my ears but I tried to approach her without trying to show how guilty I was feeling.

"Hi Katy, it's Spencer. You probably don't remember me since we only met for a brief second." I scoff at my wording "met".

"I've met your family, they're all so nice! And your niece Stella she's so adorable, I wish I had a little sister like her." I sigh.
"I'm all alone, I don't have anyone. You're so lucky that you have people you can rely on and people who love you. I've seen how much they care. I've never experienced that type of love, not ever. I've heard so many great things that you've done and all the people's lives you've touched, even mine." I confess, because it's true, I suppose I've become quite a softie at this particular moment because of her. As much as I hate it, I can't help it.

"So, don't you even think for a second that you're not loved..." I say as I scoot my chair closer to her bed and wrap my hand around her long, cold hand. I can see a single year falling from her eye. I hoist myself up onto her bed and wipe it away with my other hand.

"You know, when I was sad about things, my big brother used to sing me a song that was very old and it came from Scotland where I was born and lived in until I was five years old. I miss it ever so much, the rolling hills and the beautiful trees where I used to pick all the apples. I had to move over to America to live with my aunt but then she became sick and left me..." I shudder at the memory.
"But I still promised myself that I would go back and visit Scotland because that's were I really belong. I don't belong here." I admit glumly.

"Well, maybe since it worked on me when my brother sang it to me, it might work with you!" I say as I prepare myself as I stroke her soft hand.

"A Naoidhean Bhig Cluinn Mo Ghuth
Mise Ri D' Thaobh O Mhaighdean Bhan
Ar Righinn Og Fas As Faic
Do Thir Dileas Fhein
A Ghrian A's A Ghealaich Stuir Sinn
Gu Uair Ar Cliu 's Ar Gloire
Naoidhean Bhig Ar Righinn Og
Mhaighdean Uashaill Bhan
A Naoidhean Bhig Cluinn Mo Ghuth
Mise Ri D' Thaobh O Mhaighdean Bhan
Ar Righinn Oig Fas As Faic
Do Thir Dileas Fhein
A Ghrian A's A Ghealaich Stuir Sinn
Gu Uair Ar Cliu 's Ar Gloire
Naoidhean Bhig Ar Righinn Og
Mhaighdean Uashaill Bhan"

English version
(Little Baby Hear My Voice
I'm Beside You O Maiden Fair
Our Young Lady Grow And See
Your Land Your Own Faithful Land
Sun And Moon Guide Us
To The Hour Of Our Glory And Honour
Little Baby Our Young Lady
Noble Maiden Fair
Little Baby Hear My Voice
I'm Beside You O Maiden Fair
Our Young Lady Grow And See
Your Land Your Own Faithful Land
Sun And Moon Guide Us
To The Hour Of Our Glory And Honour
Little Baby Our Young Lady
Noble Maiden Fair)

I sing softy to Katy as I look at her pale face, so peaceful and beautiful, she reminded me of Snow White. But she also reminded me of Princess Merida because she was strong and brave. I suppose even the strong and beautiful princesses break and you know what that's okay. I know that Katy can get through it because she has so many people there for her, she'll pull herself through this ; I have faith in her.