Today I did corrections on my math test, then I went to band and my friend(Darren), his boyfriend broke up with him because his parents found out,I hugged him and comforted him as best as I could, I think I did ok but I don't know, I'll talk to him tomorrow hopefully. It was my ex's(?) Birthday so he didn't come sadly, I got to also skip out on physical education cause I didn't want to do it(I just sat with my friend) and had an ok day so far, but my shoe did get stuck on my foot so I couldn't change out of my shorts(I hate that my scars are on display then) which made me anxious and upset. I hate feeling weak or pity towards myself. It's just a useless emotion, I say that as I pity myself for being the 2nd choice. Never the 1st always the 2nd it's so stupid. Blood sticking to clothes feels so disgusting. I add to my scars daily, people say scars are a sign you survived and should be flaunted as to say, but once people point out the thin pale lines on My legs and arms I freeze. How do I say it's because I felt useless and like I was meant to just not exist in this universe. I have never gotten sympathy, it's just never really made sense, sure I can act sympathetic but I don't truly feel it, if I saw a puppy on a road sure I might give it some food If I have any, but anything more than that is just stupid. I'm not going to spend precious money on something that doesn't benefit me.
