short stories

tbd (g x nb)

potential triggers: breakdown
💛💛💛

she rocked me side to side while holding her hands over mine that were covering my ears. tears streamed steadily down my face as i pushed my forehead into my knees. she moved one of her hands and took my head, pulling it towards her shoulder instead of it's previous harsh setting. i curled in to her as her rocking changed to stroking my back. my hands left my ears as i wrapped my arms tightly around her. a sob left my lips with a harsh exclamation. she took her now free hand and weaved it into my hair. my head felt like it was spinning. i bit her clothed shoulder as more sobs racked through me.

she moved my legs so they were wrapped around her and lifted us both off the bed. i buried my head into her neck and clenched my eyes tight. i was reluctant to let go as she sat me on the bathroom counter and held my cheeks in her hands. my lips trembled and she kissed me gently. i pulled her closer, relishing in the physical presence she was able to provide so lovingly. her tongue traced my bottom lip and i granted her permission. she ran her tongue along the inside seam of my lips before pulling back. her hand moved to my cheek and stroked it lovingly. "that's better," she said softly as my sobs rescinded into a small tremor with tears much more slowly moving down my cheeks. she kissed my nose before taking a step back, starting the bath. steam quickly filled the small room along with the scent of eucalyptus and honey from my favorite two bubble baths.

i was shaky as i unbuttoned my shirt and pushed myself down to step out of my slacks. "hey," i looked up at my beautiful partner. "help me get this off?" she totally didn't need help but nonetheless i shakily took off her dress and unclasped her bra, letting it fall down her shoulders. she pushed me to sit down on the toilet lid as she slipped my underwear down my wobbly legs. after removing her own, she stopped the bath water; tugging me back up and into her hold.

she swayed us for a second and i smooshed my check into her shoulder. she guided me into the tub before climbing in behind me. i leaned into her hold as the warm water calmed my shaking body. she kissed over my shoulders and neck.

i desperately tried to get my body to calm down. i found my nails digging into my thighs almost unconsciously. her hands quickly grabbed mine, maneuvering them so they were in the hold of one of her hands as the other ran over the small indents now on my thighs. soft kisses turned to harsh nips, i turned my neck to give her more room.  she gave a long suck with a flicking tongue where my neck meets my shoulder and i found myself shuddering in a different way. "not tonight love, not in your state." i whined at her words. "we both know that it's harder to use your safe word with an overly frazzled mind." she's right of course. when isn't she? even out of a scene, the safe word is still important. we'd been through a lot, individually and together. it was important to us that we always felt safe and comfortable in every moment possible.

she let go on my hands with a soft squeeze and moved her hold to my waist, running her fingers up and down leisurely. i let my eyes flutter closed as i sunk my weight into her. the water began to lose its heat and she grabbed a loofa and began to scrub at my arms. i focused on the gentle intentional scratch of the loofa as it made its way around my neck and chest. the water turned cold and my eyes began to ache from my earlier crying.

she let the loofa float amongst the fading bubbles and massaged my lower back with her thumbs, applying pressure as she moved her thumbs in a circular motion. i turned around and took in her dark green eyes and tan skin. her hair, a usually curly mop of black tresses, was covered in droplets of water with the ends being completely soaked and draped over to her shoulder opposite to where i'd been laying. she had two beauty marks that i quickly fell in love with when i met her. one was right above her left eye and i always looked to it when she'd laugh and it would scrunch up with her eyes. the second was on her opposite cheek and i often found myself kissing her there while in public. we'd be out at a dinner or an event with friends or for work and she would say something that i'd find endearing or funny and i would just have to kiss her cheek, as an act of restraint to not kiss her lips senselessly. she likes to choose when we have PDA and often when i choose to initiate it i'll find myself with a punishment at home. although sometimes that was my goal. . .

i put a hand to her cheek, she leaned into my palm. "do you want to talk about it?"

i shook my head, "maybe tomorrow?" my voice sounded croaky even to my ears and i felt a strain at the back of my throat.

she nodded. "of course. why don't we get out of here?" i nodded back, the water had gone cold.

our bed always has the comfiest blankets but with it being winter we had our thick duvet. we bought it last year when the heater broke as the chills came in and it kept us nice and toasty the week the repairmen were waiting on a part. i climbed under and quickly rolled myself into my side of the bed, propping my head out enough to rest on my mini stack of pillows. i had just allowed my eyes to close when a soft thud made its presence known beside my head. i poked one burning eye open and registered my journal. i felt her presence join me on the bed more than i saw her and then a pen made it's way into my view. i pushed myself up and took both items, going to the first blank page and jotting down everything i'd done in my day, a summary of what caused my breakdown, and a start of a reflection i'd finish tomorrow. she took them when i was finished, setting them on the dresser before climbing back into the bed.

i curled into her and played with the ends of her hair, letting myself drift in and out of consciousness until the morning light hit my eye.

(this book will likely have more to it than what i currently have out but i'm in a stressful time of life and currently want these vibes of comfort so i figured i'd just keep writing em 💛)