Bird of a Cage [BoW 4]

Chapter 23

Waking up cold and alone was a sad reality Cetol grew used to after escaping his home. He preferred it to waking up warm but in pain, but the part of him that refused to forget the safety and love of waking in his nestling nest ached. He woke up warm, body heat warming more of him than physical and the smells of other people surrounding him. Another set of wings brushed against his, and the soft promise of protection kept him in a fuzzy, not awake state as he drifted to the world. 

His brother loved him and tried to shield him from bullies. It took a bit of time for memories of the previous day to return to him. The wings brushing over his didn't care to protect him and keep him safe from harm. They were actively judging his ability and loyalty to his race and deciding if he was worth them. 

He swallowed, eyes stinging. The last time he'd seen his brother, he swore to fulfil his duties. Cetol failed. Worse, he'd failed and actively brought about the biggest danger of the k'nairi that had ever been seen. The ability to be invisible to the community bonds that evaluated their race beyond that of animals. His brother would hate him for that. He'd hate Cetol even more for helping humans keep one of the Royal's prisoner in the secret base. It hurt. His chest ached with it, and his stomach threatened to expel any food left in it with the pain. 

He'd failed his brother in so many ways. He kept breathing despite the pain of it. He was too much of a coward to end it all.

The wings swept over him as Nel'os stretched, sleeping peacefully, unworried despite his capture. Taidra snored lightly, arm loosely around Cetol and heating his back. Cetol let the calmness seep into him. If Nel'os believed himself safe, then maybe Cetol could believe it too. The steady thumping heartbeat under his ear promised company as long as he fulfilled his duties.

Unlike before, that didn't require any physical acts. Taidra didn't desire him. Nel'os disliked him by a matter of principle.  Maybe he was safe.

The room wasn't completely dark. A nightlight plugged in at the wall illuminated where the doors to the corridor and bathroom were. Cetol's head rested on Taidra's shoulder, half curled as embarrassingly he'd searched for a companion in his sleep. He'd fallen to sleep curled up next to him but not resting on Taidra. Nel'os mirrored his position, but somehow he was higher, guarding the two of them. Both Taidra and Nel'os continued to sleep, and Cetol didn't want to wake them. 

The men were exhausted from the previous day's events. Taidra didn't sleep well, and recovering from a lightning strike couldn't be easy. Cetol's wings puffed at the idea of it.  Nel'os wings tensed, rubbing instinctively to soothe. 

Breathing slowly, Cetol forced his feathers to accept the comfort and smooth out. He couldn't stop them pressing against them. Nel'os's wings pushed and rattled against his comfortingly. In his sleep, the heart of the link sought to comfort whoever was distressed. Cetol burned at the humiliation that he needed it. 

Maybe the Royal Bonded was right. Maybe he'd tried to bury the k'nairi parts of him too deep. Maybe that made him weak and vulnerable. 

He brought his arms and wings close to himself, trying to remove his wings from Nel'os without alerting the man. Nel'os reminded soundly asleep. Cetol's chest lightened. Until he noticed the expression on Nel'os's face.

Taidra had no signs of discomfort, his features relaxed and oddly young, but Nel'os didn't seem to be sleeping as well. Without Cetol to calm, Nel'os 's wings trembled, and his face screwed up in pain. The souls of bonded mates joined in sleep as well as awake, if at a subconscious level. Nel'os suffered without the link, and there was nothing Cetol could do to help him without compromising the base.

Should he offer up more than his services? He wouldn't be able to fake pleasure, but if Nel'os needed the comfort of a body, Cetol remembered how to do that. The idea replused him. No, if Nel'os wanted that from him, he would tell him, and Cetol wasn't entirely sure he would be able to offer it up anymore. Being submissive again was one thing, but being a toy wasn't something he could do so easily.