Anxiety [poly!ghoul x reader]

A new ghoul?

A/N: hii! I'm ass at writing but I like it and also ghosts I have zero idea what perspective this is in but I like it! so far I'm writing this after I wrote most of this so yeah enjoy!! also, era three ghouls show up like Zephyr, Mist Omega, etc! Also yes sunshine so is Aether still here in this why not? Regressed ghouls and reader do come up in this but I refuse and I mean under zero circumstances to write that in an NSFW light as I also age regress under stress! and this is mostly just a comfort fic for myself that being said enjoy -xoxo Cosmo :)

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Darkness. I was in hell I was never supposed to be summoned I was a weird mix of a multi- ghoul so why am I here well here isn't exactly a statement as darkness. but panic surged me into fear and maybe just maybe terror. Yeah a panic attack.. but where am I? I stumbled back into a dark room and there was some sort of circle pentagram. I don't know nor do I care. there are two other ghouls an earth ghoul.. and an air ghoul I think he seems to have trouble walking and standing as he's leaning against the earth ghoul. Then some old person is a human? was I being summoned into a pack on earth? the old voice back to that "This one is useless send it back!" another voice calmer and comforting "Leave the poor ghoul alone" it said yea both boys.. the two ghouls looked at each other nodding.. the air ghoul said "Come on little ghoul come on out" I felt myself tremble but the voice was calming so I stepped forward.

He seemed nice not as rude as the older person's voice. "What's your name?" he asked softly. "y/n" I mumbled. I felt the panic rising in me why did I answer? I never think before I speak or do anything for that matter but my world is shrinking and my chest is tightening. I hear the old man's voice grumbling in protest the door opens then it shuts. The old man leaving I feel like that's better since he makes that anxious feeling in my chest so much worse.

The rest of the night went by in a blur a lot of explaining why I was here what I was here for where I'd live. I had a whole pack too that part was shocking. I had to get used to I counted six ghouls Sodo, Swiss, Phantom, Rain, Aether, and last but not least Mountain he was there when I was summoned. And four ghouletts Cirrus, Sunshine, Cumulus, and Aurora. I was summoned to be a vocalist I was non-binary and I felt so out of place even if I don't know these people yet. The keyword yet what if they don't like me? or think I'm weird or don't like me because I'm so anxious? What ifs droned on in my brain Zephyr said I'd get to go clothes shopping sooner or later and get stuff for my room once I had human glamour down.

I was surprised to be greeted by a curious quintessence ghoul when Mountain took me down to the ghoul's basement well the den. The other pack of ghouls lived here too the one Zephyr was from. Mountain was very tall I was pretty tall myself his black hair was pushed back. The ghoul quintessence ghoul bounded up to the mountain "Hi mountain! Is this the new ghoul?" he asked bouncing off his heels "Hi bug" he said softly "yea their name is y/n". I gave a small wave my chest tightening again. The ghoul must have taken it from Mountain to be calmer or could he feel the anxiety coming off me in waves? most quintessence ghouls could after all. "hi y/n I'm Phantom," he said I nodded my body wasn't letting me speak. He gave a concerned look to Mountain but Mountain gave him a look I couldn't read.

By the time I got to the room that would be mine lucky to avoid all other interactions. I felt like an asshole for not having the guts or energy to talk. I was already exhausted but as I collapsed into the bed well my bed and curled up everything was off. the blanket was itchy the moon was too bright.. I didn't even know how to spell or check the time I can't write in human I can in the hellish ghoul language not English. This would suck. More than I'd care to know. But I think back to Phantom and Mountain interactions it's obvious there's a thing all of the ghouls from what I saw between those two might just be dating. Maybe everyone is a nice idea but it makes me feel more and more like I will never belong. I think back to how Phantom looked he had black hair and a grey maybe with a hue of ashy purple skin tone. But mostly grey his black hair arched in the front and was shaved down on the side. His bright purple eyes amazed me and from what it looked like a mountain too maybe it was like that with everyone he looked at I could see why. Mountain had very dark brown hair it looked just like Phantoms just much shorter most likely recently cut. He had ashy grey skin green freckles graced his nose once or twice and he had deep green eyes.

I want to let sleep take me but it just won't. Am I allowed to go out of this room? I decide it's worth a shot. I get up and look around the hallway I tap my claws on the doorframe as I step out. I hear someone shit. I still go forward my curiosity getting the best of me. No two voices... I walk fully down the hallway and I see two ghouls a water ghoul and a multi-ghoul. They haven't noticed me yet can I retreat to my room?

shit, they noticed me. The anxiety squeezed my chest tight the air leaving my lungs the water ghoul noticed me. Maybe it'll be okay? Probably not my mind drones on as the anxiety gets tighter the air leaving my lungs. Like something strangling my rib cage making it tighten. He just smiles with a little wave and goes back to talking to the other ghoul. I decided I'd rather be in my room It was terrifying and I didn't even talk to the water ghoul seemed like he understood the anxiety without saying a word to me. It was oddly comforting. I go back to my room once the door is shut it feels like the anxious feeling stopped away from the eyes of anyone else. How did I plan to get used to this? would the anxiety ever stop? would this whole thing never get better? how do I function like this? if I can't even get a word out or go past the hallway that leads to the ghoul's common areas without nearly having a panic attack?

I curled into the bed sleep taking me finally.

I wake up to the sound of two voices I recognize the multi-ghouls voice too. I don't have a name for the multi-ghoul yet so I don't necessarily recognize his voice but I hear phantom and mountain.

I know I have to eat but do I really wanna go out there? I know I should but this Is terrifying even the thought. I almost shook and sobbed when Mountain and Phantom talked to me. I was hungry so I pushed the anxiety away and stepped from my room. I see mountain and the water ghoul. I was told certain ghouls often made breakfeast. so I hope spmeone did. If not i'd be fine without food. I went behind Mountain. I wasn't non-verbal anymore so I'd be fine. Hopefully

I found my way to the kitchen by tagging behind mountain i see a quintessance ghoul. "hi aether!" the water ghoul said. "hi rain" aether said. Thats it aether and rain! The quintessance ghoul gave me a little wave and smile "ah so your the new ghoul?" he said softly i nodded "what's your name?" "y-y/n" i said. He smiled i watched mountain and rain get food human food i don't know the name off i just get it but without the brown erm... sticky stuff.

I see the rest of the ghouls so the fire ghoul sitting by rain the ghouletts too mountain sitiing near phantom. The couches are on each side of the coffee table. So I sat on the floor near the air ghoulette but not very close. I ate slowly this wasn't so bad. All tho new food isnt my thing as texture. eww the others don't sem to care that i'm here. I did get a little wave from the fire ghoul. I go back to looks aether had a dusty purple skin horns and a tail as all ghouls have but rain has a shark like tail very interesting sidenote. back to aether he has a silver like hair that goes to hus shoulders that was in a ponytail. Well built like i think? i don't know i don't understand these human vessels.. Who cares this is anxiety causing but it's nice to be around other ghouls I was a earth and fire ghoula multi-ghoul. With dark very deep hues of blue and a light ashy blue skin with green freckles on some places on my odd.. human vessel. But this isn't as actully nerve wracking as i thought it would be.

I eat the human food trying to understand it.

Maybe just mayeb i'll be just fine.