We Don't Trade Lives

I won't let you have the satisfaction of seeing me break.

You know, I never thought I would be here. I've always had a plan. I've always had a way out. Even if it meant death, it was all my doing. But now, here I am. Completely and utterly helpless as my last resort has failed. It's been so long since I've felt this kind of hopelessness. I always planned ahead so I wouldn't have to face this feeling again.

...The feeling like the world is crashing down on you...

...The feeling like whatever you do will be pointless...

...The feeling like you're completely at fate's mercy...

...The feeling of despair...

. . .

"Despair"...

Why does that word feel important...?

Now that I think about it, that's what this whole killing game has been trying to achieve.

They want us all to lose hope.

Despair...

Despair...

..."Remnants of Despair"...

Wait...

...That thing Maki said...

I completely forgot about it.

It felt important. She assumed that I knew what that meant. Maybe it's important to the mastermind.

I'll have to keep it in mind.

"Oh, well what do we have here~? How the mighty have fallen!" The voice sent a shock wave through my entire body as I'm snapped out of my thoughts.

Great. He's here.

I try my best to put on my mask, and sit up with a smile on my face. I sit up a little too fast, though, causing my headache to pound my skull and my vision to blur. However, my mask doesn't fall. I'm too mad about the weakness I've already showed to let that happen again.

"Oh! Well, look who it is! If it isn't the annoying, waste of space, monochromatic teddy bear." The volume of my voice hurts my head even more, and the energy used to keep myself up and looking well is nearly unbearable, but it's alright. I'm fine. I'm using the anger pumping through my veins to keep myself going.

"Awww~! You're making me blush!" That stupid, annoying bear says. Not getting any kind of response from the bear, despite not even expecting there to be one, agitates me. I just want him to leave. But I can't let him know that. Then he will stay just to spite me.

"Sooo~? How ya been?" I ask in a condescendingly sweet voice.

"You've been a real thorn in my side, y'know that kid?" Now that causes a real smile for once.

"Oh? What do you mean? Did I break any rules? Did I hurt your feelings?"I want to agitate him. I want him to feel at least a fraction of the anger and frustration he's caused me and the others.

"Well, it was annoying..." "Was". Now he's turning it on me. Focus. Don't lose your cool. "...but now you've gotten a worse punishment than even I could give you!" He says. What does he mean?

"Oh? And what's that?" Damn it. That sounded too annoyed. He sees that he's getting to me.

"Now you have no way out!" He says. "Unless you decide to take your own life..."

What?

What is he...?

Oh.

"Aw~! Are you too proud to admit I won?" I say. He's rubbing in the fact that my "Final Lie" plan failed. The thing I've had planned for weeks. But it was a last resort. He's just trying to distract me from the fact that I prevented a killing by rubbing in my failure. He knows how annoyed I get when I'm not in control.

He's manipulative.

But so am I.

Right now, we both have to play our cards right.

"Puhuhuhuhu~! You think just 'cause you stopped one death that means it's over? Someone still tried to kill! The blood thirst inside the people here is still there." He laughs. Now he's trying to use logic.

Match him.

"Well, Maki tried to kill because of what I did. If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have done it. It's not blood thirst. She was trying to rescue someone. Besides, she thought it would end the killing game and bring the mastermind to justice." I say. Damn it. My phrasing should've been better. Now he can rebuttal. He's gonna say-

"Kaede thought the same thing." Knew it.

"But Kaede was on a time limit. And she had limited information. She was desperate. Maki and the others aren't." I say. Keep it short. Don't trail off. He'll use my words against me if I say too much, and that will just prolong this.

He looks annoyed. Good. Get mad. Get frustrated. It's what you deserve.

"You're going to be alone forever. Because now, everyone hates you."

. . .

. . .

...I know.

And he knows that.

This isn't new information. I planned for this. That was the whole point. I've already accepted that a long time ago.

. . .

...Then why...

...does it hurt so much...?

. . .

Emotional Manipulation.

Playing to my insecurities.

He's good.

But I'm better.

"Aw, thanks! I know, my plan worked great, right?" You won't get me. I won't let you. I won't let you have the satisfaction of seeing me break.

He pauses. It was only for a second, but I know better than anyone what that means.

He didn't get the response he wanted.

He's irritated.

"Well, while you're down for the count, I'll be making some changes around here. So stay tuned~!" He says before leaving me alone with my thoughts.

He's trying to put me on edge.

He's trying to get me to worry.

He's trying to get me to suffer.

A smile creeps its way onto my lips.

Because I won.