Eternally Yours

Chapter 18 - A confortable place

His words hit me like a lightning bolt on a stormy night. I could feel the rain falling on me, both literally and metaphorically, as I looked into my brother's eyes. It was as if his eyes were the door to his soul, one that I had always been able to read, but in that moment, it was locked tight. I couldn't see throught it, I couldn't reach him. I felt my body go numb, and before I had another panic attack, I pleaded with my brother to stay.

"Nick, please, don't do this!"

With the same hurt in his gaze, he ignored me, got up, revealing his muddy knees, and headed for the car. Without looking back, he revved the engine and sped away, splashing water from puddles all around. Tears filled my eyes as I watched his car disappear in the distance.

"Luke, please, go after him!" I implored, tearing my gaze away from his green eyes and looking at his drenched clothes and hair.

"I won't leave you alone, teacup." he said softly, and I could hear the emotion in his words, as his voice cracked.

To tell the truth, Luke had spent more time with my father than I had. He probably played soccer with him and Nick and went to soccer games or movies. Most likely my father had taken them to school once or twice or treated them to ice cream by the beach. Things I had never experienced.

"Honey, I..." My thoughts were interrupted by his words filled with regret, but I didn't know how to deal with them at that moment.

"Please, can you go inside and wait for me? I need some time alone before we do this."

Not waiting for him to say anything back, I grabbed one of the coats hanging on the entrance rack, which happened to be Nick's, and rushed out without a clear destination in mind. Leaving behind Luke and the person who had abandoned me and my family twenty years ago.

Luke's P.O.V.

The heavy rain pounded against my car's windshield, as if the sky, too, shared the pain of the moment. I drove for what felt like an eternity, scanning the streets of Palmdale for a pair of blue eyes and wet, blonde hair, tied-up in a messy bun.

For at least fifteen minutes, I had been driving through Palmdale, searching for her in every  place I could've think of. My heart sank a little with each passing minute without finding her.

Mrs. Jones...

"Call me Lily, Luke, please."

I heard her sweet voice in my head, as if she were sitting in the passanger seat beside me, reading my thoughts, reminding me how much she hated being called Mrs. Jones. I couldn't blame her, could I?

Lily, Skyler and Nick's mother, was like a second mother to me. Our families didn't get together for weekend barbecues; our mothers weren't together in a book club or go out for coffee or a glass of wine together. But I spent more time at Nick's house than in my own. I saw how much she cared for both Skyler and Nick, the love she had for them evident whenever she watched them play from a distance or when Nick helped his sister with something she couldn't do on her own. The love and pride she had in them were unexplainable. And I saw the void she left behind when illness took her. For weeks after the funeral, Skyler would leave the house in the middle of the night, crying, and Nick and I would search for her, each in our own cars. Often on rainy days like this. After a few days, it became easier to find her because, sooner or later, she always ended up in the same place.

"Oh my God! I know where she is!" The words came out of my mouth as fast as memories flooded over me.

I knew where to find her. No matter how much time passed, that place would always bring comfort to her heart.

With my foot on the gas pedal, I turned the wheel and headed to the cemetery.

The dark tombstones stood out against the gray sky. The rain had stopped, allowing a few rays of sunshine to pierce through the dark clouds overhead. Trees nearby shed their drier leaves, some littering the ground, others swirling aimlessly in the wind. The cemetery was empty and silent. I walked through the grass until I found her, sitting on the wet ground, knees pulled up, leaning against her mother's grave like a shadow in the darkness. Her wet, now loose, blonde hair clung to her head. I took a few steps toward her until I was crouched at her side, but she didn't seem to hear me approach, remaining in the same position.

"Skyler." I whispered as I bent down to be at her eye level.

She turned, surprised, her eyes red and swollen from crying.

"Luke..." she murmured, a sob escaping her lips as she collapsed into my arms.

I held her tightly, knees on the wet ground, pulling her close to my chest, running my hand through her long hair as I tried to think of something to say to comfort her. No words came to mind. But maybe all she needed in that moment was silence. She cried in my arms, releasing all the pain and anguish she had felt since that morning. Her tears wet my chest, and I held her even tighter with each one that fell. We stayed like that, clinging to each other without moving for what felt like hours. When she had no more tears to shed and her breathing was calmer, I lowered my head and planted a gentle kiss on the top of her head. That's when our eyes met, and I could see that hers no longer held the same joy they used to. God, they didn't even look like the same sweet and lively eyes! Seeing her like that did something to me. To my heart. Something I can't explain. It was like someone was twisting it from inside my chest.

"It's gonna be okay, baby." I said as I rested my chin on top of her head, pressing it against my chest again. "You won't go through this alone, baby, I'm here for you."

My words sounded like a whisper, but I knew she had heard them as her muscles relaxed against my body, but for a few moments, I thought that, as stubborn as she was, she might tell me she had to do it alone and didn't need me. But that's not what happened. She remained silent, and I did the same, never letting go of her, until she pulled her head away from my chest, wiped away the tears drying on her face, and looked me in the eyes, asking:

"What did you have for me?"

I furrowed my brows, not understanding her question, and then she asked again, bringing some clarity to my mind.

"This morning, when you came to the house, you had something hidden behind your back..."

"Oh babe, now is not a good time," I said between shallow breaths as anxiety took hold of me.

"Yes, Luke, it is a good time. Please," she pleaded for something to distract her from everything that was happening around her, as I saw her eyes getting watery again.

I looked at the gray sky and hesitated for a moment. It didn't seem like the best time to talk about it, given the circumstances. But Skyler insisted, her eyes fixed on mine with an urgency I couldn't ignore.

"Wait here," I whispered softly in her ear as her head was still against my chest.

I planted a kiss on her temple and released her, making my way to the car, which was relatively close. I opened the passenger side door and took the bouquet of flowers in one hand, letting the petals rest on my arm, and held the wrapped gift carefully in the other.

I was supposed to give her the flowers this morning when I arrived at her house and found her happily dancing and singing, but when she opened the door and saw his eyes glued to the ground, unable to meet hers, I immediately knew who he was. After all, his eyes were no different from hers. The first thing I did was send a message to Nick, who appeared like lightning. After all that mess, the surprise I had for Skyler this morning ended up taking a backseat.

As I made my way back to her, my heart began to race at a pace that I thought was impossible. I felt my legs trembling as my hands started to go numb and sweaty. The twenty steps I had taken to the car now seemed like a thousand, and the air I had been breathing before didn't seem enough to fill my lungs in that moment.

But that was the moment, and there was no turning back. Nor did I want to.