Alex
Son of a -!
Seriously, what is wrong with my constitution that I can't even walk a tiled, cemented path without tripping over my feet?
I temporarily removed my earphones to fix the sandal strap on my feet. I knelt down letting my long hair curtain my face from any curious eyes.
Yes, I'm a kltuz. Ha-ha! People!
When I stand up, I suddenly see a man standing in line at the registrar's office. His hand on a slightly smaller girl's shoulder.
Nooooo!
My mind shouted. Everything paused, at least for me. I didn't notice the girl whose papers fell in front of me, or her snarl when I didn't help her when she asked. I didn't notice that a boy was arguing in Chinese with his mother on the phone a tad too loudly.
What got me out of my stupor was the loud 'Fuck' that came out of a girl's mouth when she bumped me.
"Don't you have eyes? Watch where you're going!"
Who bumped into whom exactly? And my eyes are currently trained on the couple whose attention was caught by our commotion. FUCK!
I immediately lowered my head once more to look into the papers in my hand and walked towards the hall with no people.
I was shaking. I was actually shaking. Ridiculous.
I haven't seen him in 3 years. But the problem is even if I haven't the memories don't go away.
Oh, didnt't I mention it? I have an eidetic memory. Bloody fantastic!
Having an eidetic memory is not a blessing, it's a fucking curse. Because for someone who aches to live a normal life, for someone who needs to bury the feeling of being loved and the pain of being betrayed, I. Just. Can't.
I can remember the day. It was a cloudy day. 106 degree celsius. I was listening to Adele's album I just bought. Who'd have thought the lyrics to her songs would serve as premonition, a prediction of how awful the next three years of my life would be?
I happened to check my phone, and an imessage popped from my then boyfriend, TJ. I was waiting at Starbucks then, I was waiting for him. We were to celebrate his graduation. He was four years older than me, but he just graduated from college 2 weeks prior while I have two more years which feels like eternity. Trivia, did you know that at 19, he was my first boyfriend. Yeah, pathetic little me.
The message contained 2 words. 'We're done.'
That was it. No explanation whatsoever.
I tried texting him back, to no avail. I tried calling him, but I've never been able to connect. And believe me, the idiot me back then tried it a million times.
I dissected everything that happened up to that point. But even my cursed brain could not find anything out of place.
No weird glances, or stilted conversations that might have clued me in on what was about to come.
In fact, it was the happiest few months of my entire life. He said so and no words were ever truer, I playfully said to him then.
A month has passed before it finally sunk in. He's gone. He's not coming back. And I'm left hanging adrift, lost.
You may ask me why I'm rehashing all these shit all of a sudden. It's because suddenly, like an apparition, he's just there. He's that guy!
I'm about take my master's degree now in Computer Science in DLSU. I was on my way to the office of registrar to submit all my requirements and I see him - specifically his side view. But I cannot be mistaken. I have many flaws, I could be gullible, I could be insensitive, but the one thing no one can fault me for is my memory.
And ingrained in my memory is the face of the only man who has penetrated my armor and broke my heart into smithereens.
But like the coward that I am, I hid behind a wall, waiting for the breaths that can't get in and out of my mouth fast enough to calm my rapidly-beating heart.
Should I turn the other way around, go up to him and say hi like he didn't destroy my faith in men forever, or pretend I don't recognize him?
Yes, the last part is an option because I've never entrusted to anyone the knowledge of my curse. Even him.
Only three people in this world knows, one of them is me, and the other two, my parents are not here anymore.
In some way I feel like a cheat, doing well in my academics all throughout and teachers thinking I'm so smart, when in actuality, it's just my mind is like a humongous vault. When I read something, it stays there and never leaves forever.
The knowledge of Timothy James' painful rejection of me several years back including.
And now I can add another one. His hand on his new girlfriend. My dark humor reared its ugly head.
So, apparently, he still likes them young, huh?
I knocked my head on the wall, bringing me back to present. Nothing in my sheltered life has prepared me for this. I am not equipped to deal with him, I don't know if I ever will be.
So I took the cowardly way out, and get out of my hiding place to go back where I came from, my hopes of studying in my dream school dashed.
But to my devastation, he was there in front of me.
I feel shell-shocked. I know I must look it.
He was inches from me.
"It really is you."
I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience. I simply nodded, not knowing what to say.
He was staring at me.
What does he see? My unseeing eyes? My recently-healed broken nose? The crushed paper in my hands?
"Aleksandra."
My full name coming from his lips was like a slap. He was the only person to call me by my full name. I've hated it, always have. Especially more so after he left me.
It woke me up from the paralysis I seemed to be under.
I looked at his entire face, noting the changes. He now wears his hair to his neck. No definite age lines. Time seemed kind to him.
Bastard.
I tilted my head in acknowledgment of my name. And then I side-stepped him, walking fast and far away from my hopes.
I did not look back. When I turned the corner, I ran. Like the devil was on my heels.
Maybe he was.
***
To be continued.
A/N
My first non-miefer story. I'm excited.😁
