| For the one I've long lost. |

失いたくない愛 | Love i dont wish to lose.

                        •|| 3rd person point of view ||•

"Y/n? Baby.. Are you alright?" Eden said as he gently shook his lover, they had been asleep for most of the day. Out of nowhere they started getting really sluggish. And it was beginning to bother him. He was worried. He placed a gentle hand to cup Y/N's face once they sat up. A frown coming to his face as he looked at them.

"I feel fine really.. I've just been tired eden.." They said with a faint smile, trying to soothe their lover in hopes they would believe them. "Y/n..you have a fever, and you've been sleeping all day for 4 days. That isn't just something being tired would do to you.. I'm worried.. Please just- At least try to get to a doctor soon?" He pleaded as he removed his hand from y/n's face and got off of the bed and walking into the kitchen to make him breakfast.

They had been together for a long time now, honestly neither of them expected for it to. At first when they were dating they acted like more of best friends than lovers. But they lasted longer than all the people around them. They had a weird way of functioning at first but it worked. It was mostly due to the fact of them being gay. They were worried that something would happen or the other would decide they weren't into guys. There was so many easy ways to mess this up. And yet 5 years later, here they are.

Eden has always been a golden retriever type boyfriend, making him breakfast, randomly going out and buying him gifts. It was easy to say he spoiled his lover really well. So seeing him get like this hurt. And he didn't know what to do, the normal medicine for the occasional cold wasn't doing anything.

Eden let out a sigh as he finished making y/n's bacon and eggs, bringing them over to you as he smiles lightly.  "I'm not trying to nag you I just.. Don't want it to get any worse.." And he was right, it was a better idea to check it out I stead of letting things take it's course. "I'll set up an appointment first chance I get ok.?" Which you only agreed because seeing him like this bothered you too. He's always a really happy person so when he randomly had a mood drop its like someone hitting you with a bat.

He looks at you before smiling at you and expressing his thanks. It wasn't a full smile. He didn't know what it was. But this was giving him a bad feeling. Despite that gut feeling, he listened to you, Dropping the topic when you agreed to listen to him. A choice he'll replay in his head like a broken record.

And as much as he despises it, it makes him sick to his stomach to this day. But he was right. There was something terribly wrong. Y/N had indeed went to the doctor, and the test took weeks to give any results. But they had discovered that they have fallen victim to cancer of the 4th stage.

Days went on like before. But slower.. And slower.. Eden hadn't spoken much, every attempt at speaking to him always ended very short. His beautiful blue eyes we're puffy and irritated every time you saw him. It made your heart turn. And yet he went to every doctors appointment, and once they checked Y/N into the hospital for better monitoring during the chemotherapy, something began to break.

Eden had stopped eating, he was going to work as per normal. He only came to visit y/n at night. They would awake to find flowers, balloons, sometimes even snacks and stuffed animals at their bed. But Eden would always be gone.

                                  // EDENS POV \\

Today is moving slowly.. slower that before. Y/n isn't home, they're being held in the hospital for the next week.  The nurses give me weird looks, But I don't blame them. I would look at me weird too if I saw someone as disheveled as me walk through the door every day. Y/N has been practically begging me to not show up every day. To take some time to myself. But I can't. Cancer isn't a joke. It's rare to beat it. The best they could do, is prolong the inevitable. I can't bring myself to skip a day. To not show up and see their face.

I've seen the ways the doctors face twists when they talk to me. Any day..any week.. probably not even a year from now.. I might never see them again. So why, why would he wish me to not see him? Wish for me to recuperate. I'm not the one important.

When I got to work I clocked in, I didn't say a word. Not even to Zayn, my best friend. It's been going on like this for 3 weeks, but he seems to understand. He keeps looking at me randomly. But today, I spared him a wave and a slight smile. That was nothing compared to the bright one he offered me. Paired with his normal enthusiastic wave. I then went back to my work, I had a presentation to type out. I work in advertisment. I don't present the stuff tho.i write it out, get a night slideshow ready and send it to someone else. It's better that way. Especially with how I've been looking recently. I definitely would've been fired by now.

Sitting here, in a controlled environment, it seemed to calm me down and bit. for the first time in what feels like it's dragged on for ages. Who would've thought the place I would feel at peace would be work? I was buried in my work, advertisement is easy, that's why I picked it at first. Once I really got into it, that's when I realized how much deeper it is than just pretty images.

I didn't realize just how tired I really was, not until I turned in my work and left for the day, the walk to their room.. it felt so long. my eyes felt heavy, my head felt light. But I made it, I went into the room as normal, but this time I didn't talk much, I pulled a chair as close as I could, laid my head on their stomach, and drifted off to sleep.

Their hands were cold, yet so warm. Feeling their hands run through my hair, the rise and fall of their chest, the sound of them breathing. It's a level of peace I could never hope to replace. I've never been the type to believe in deitys, gods, it's never been my place. But I would make any kind of offering to any of them to keep y/n with me. I've built my life around them, He's been my world for as long as I care to remember. 5 years may not seem like much. But no one else handles me like he does. Completes me like he does. If something happens to him? I'll never forgive myself.

"Sir? I'm so sorry but visitation hours are ending"

Ah.. I've been here that long? I sat up, seeing y/n was fast asleep, it brought a smile to my face for a moment, I stood up, stretching as I nodded to the nurse that I was leaving. she walked out at the acknowledgement. I turned, giving y/n a kiss on the forehead before leaving ever so hesitantly.

I just wish I could've known, that was my last chance. the last time I'd have a chance to talk to him. Now that it's over I have so much more to say, so much more to do. But that's what makes time so bittersweet. if it were unlimited, it would mean nothing.

I still remember the feeling of his hands on my neck, the feeling of his lips against mine, the warmth he never failed to give me. The sound of his voice echoing through the house we once shared. these feelings, these memories. They'll haunt me until my last breath. but nothing hurts me more, than the sound of the flat line that sent my reality crumbling into shambles.

                                                                            ..to be continued