hated - Tori Spring x Oc

4

⚠️TW sensitive chapter⚠️

We arrive at school, I immediately see Ben and Harry. My feet try to run away but a hand grabs my wrist making me turn around. 'Millie the longer you stay away the angrier mom and dad will get' Ben says with a hint of worry in his eyes. Tears are threatening to fall in mine while I nod and quickly turn back around. The rest of school was fine, it was mostly me zoning out and avoiding Imogen. Tori has asked me if I was fine multiple times, I just mumbled in respond. After school I tried saying I wasn't going to spend another day at hers but words wouldn't come out. My head facing the ground as I walk to my dad's car. He looked furious, if looks could kill I would be thrown off a building within 5 seconds. The car ride hope was silent, everyone knew what would happen when I came home. My dads car stopped on our front porch, my heart sinking in and my whole body filled with fear. 

⚠️TW: self harm, abusing⚠️

Our front door opened and my father grabbed my neck as soon as I set foot in the house with no happy memories. He pushed me against the now closed door that Ben shut before he rushed upstairs with both our bags, this isn't the first time this happened. My fathers grip around my throat tightened. 'I'm sorry' almost no sound comes out my mouth, tears are streaming down my face making his hand and wrist wet. He lets go of me and slaps me in my now wet face, knowing it will leave a mark. my wrist gets grabbed and I'm thrown on the floor, a foot kicks in my stomach. All the tears making my vision blurred, I feel a few more kicks till I hear footsteps walk away. I scrambled upstairs to my room and grabbed a small box that I had in my backpack. With the small box I head to the bathroom. It had a couple of things in it; bandages, a bloody cloth, some gauze and tape. Most importantly though, in the bloody cloth, my blade. And there it goes again, the lock on the bathroom door, my face still wet. The sharp blade runs across my already scared wrist, making more and more cuts. I just can't get enough off the sharp pain going through my body. The first time I did it was just to try you know, just wanted to know how it feels. Then it started turning into a habit, more and more cuts on my wrist till I had to move to my thighs , going higher and higher on my arms. I press the cloth against my arm waiting for it to stop bleeding. My back pressed against the closed door, my eyes feeling more dry then ever.  I slowly stand up and turn on the tap putting it on the lowest temperature. The cold water hitting my fresh cuts, it stings a bit but I don't care because why would I? The urge to smash the mirror in front of me gets bigger every second that I look at it passes. My hand is placed on the lock of the bathroom door, slowly turning it. I open the door to be met with Ben's eyes. 'Are you okay, millie?' he looks worried. I smile at him in return as a sign that I am, though we both know it isn't true. I sat on bed staring to my wall with Billie Eilish playing in my headphones till dinner time, I didn't eat, I couldn't bother to. I did my homework and went to sleep, even though its only 7pm. I hope tomorrow will go better.

Sorry that it took so long for another chapter I've been going through a lot and this chapter was really hard or me to make as someone who struggled/struggles with self harm.  Also if anything in this story is relatable to u, please talk to someone. Any one of you can talk to me<3