EX//MACHINA: EXORDIUM

Chapter XIV - The struggle within

Peter went to sleep sure he wouldn't survive the night, but now he saw himself waking up after one more private session with Laura Grey.

As per usual, his body was exhausted, his head hurt and he really wished he could stay in bed, or at least hide for the rest of the week. Even though he only had a few days of safe sleep since he woke up, the boy had sadly got used to being capable of resting without worry. That didn't last, not since he saw that woman getting executed in the woods because of his mistake, so it broke him even more, having tasted comfortable sleep for once and losing it right after. All things considered, he felt lucky by not breaking down at this point.

His days consisted of the same thing: waking up, spending the entire morning and afternoon rotting in his cell, bored out of his mind and unable to sleep, then dreading the moment the sun went out. And why wouldn't he be able to sneak some sleep time in during the day? Well, in comes Laura, randomly appearing in his door, some days once, some many times. She always asked the same question: the gun or the device? Peter would proceed to answer, then what came after depends on his luck.

Worst case scenario? His mind melted, the entirety of his thoughts collapsing until he woke up hours later, unable to realize how much time had passed. In the best case she would just leave, silent and without any threats, after all, she didn't need threats when he was that scared day after day. Only when he was that lucky Peter would be able to sleep, forcing himself to ignore the fear building up just so he could rest a little more.

Unfortunately, the night before was a "wrong answer scenario" type of night, so he was even more messed up than usual. Every time his mind melted like that, he felt like he was losing something, like his very soul was vanishing piece by piece while he was incapacitated. So, considering that and the imminence of being executed by the hands of Laura whenever she felt he was too dangerous — as dangerous as some malnourished kid in a cell could be — Peter knew he didn't have much time.

Each day could be the last, and not being able to do anything about it was horrible, to say the least. Maybe that's why he started an admittedly pathetic habit of trying to summon the voice in his head, hoping it would be able to do anything for him. He wasn't too hopeful, after all Vega decided to disappear not long after he woke up, but there weren't many other options at the moment.

— Hey, Vega, could you show up? — Peter pleaded for the hundredth time this week. — And maybe... I don't know, tell me anything? Anything at all?

Except for the sound of his own chaotic thoughts, his mind was empty. By any human standard, that would be optimal, but as his standards seemed to be slightly different, the lack of a second voice in his head was disappointing. Giving up again, Peter tried going back to sleep, even if for one more minute, when the first good thing in his week happened.

— Good morning, Peter, sorry for the delay.

The feelings inside the boy were, at the very least, unexplainable. The only thing he felt sure was he needed to punch Vega, even if it meant punching himself. Some parts of him were glad about hearing that voice, but he just couldn't shake the feeling Vega was making some kind of sick joke, vanishing like that. The closest word to his current feelings was probably "hurt".

— A delay? You left me without any answers, alone and in danger, and you call it a delay?

— I understand how you are feeling, truly, but I needed time to retrieve every last bit of information I could find. — Vega's voice seemed calm, comprehensive and understanding, and Peter could feel he was being genuine in his words. — I couldn't speak with you any sooner than right now, trust me, but now we have a solid way of getting out of this situation. And besides, I have been watching, so if anything truly dangerous happened, I could intervene in some way.